20 Months & Staying off Counters.

The last few responses are exactly something I would say. I didn't read them all, but it seems to me that 20 months is not too young for something like time out. My twin boys are 25 months now, but have been doing the time out thing since about 18 months. When he does something he's not supposed to, take him from wherever it is, say something like "counters are for _____" and that he has to go to time out for climbing up on them. Put him on a time out chair, or a specific spot (same one each time) and set a timer for about a minute and a half. He can come out when the timer goes off. It actually works extremely well with my kids. They still do things they're not supposed to, but they know they will have to go to time out if they do. Most important is to be consistent with whatever discipline you choose so he knows just what to expect when he does something inappropriate. Good luck.

Get serious with him, if he can push you around he will. Giving a child clear rules and boundaries will give them a better sense of security and help him grow.
When he gets on the counter, say "NOT OKAY!!!" very sternly, get him off and put him in the corner, if he gets up, put him back and tell him he has to stay right there. If you have a playpen or highchair stick him in that as a time out.
DO NOT AVOID parenting to avoid fights, that is the worst thing parents do to kids. Nobody likes to disagree or have issues, but he is testing you to the limit and putting himself into danger. Teaching him to listen, follow rules and do what he is told right now will help you a ton down the road as 3 is harder then 2, believe me!
Change your words if you don't want to constantly say "NO", Like "get down", "not okay", etc....
I tell my kids when they say "your a mean mommy", then I must be doing my job right!!! You aren't there to be your son's friend, he needs guidance and rules! Also if you let him get away with stuff sometimes and don't follow through, that is Very confusing to a child, be consistent, get everyone that is watching him on the same page and follow through no matter what! He won't like it but he will figure it out soon enough. Time to be mom and stand tough!

The best way, I've found, is to tell children what you WANT them to do instead of what you DONT WANT them to do. If he's climbing on something, tell him to put his feet on the floor instead of don't climb; if he's yelling/screaming tell him you want him to use quiet voices instead of dont yell/be quiet. As children get older you can add a small explanation of why you dont want him climbing, yelling, etc. Something like that's not safe or that hurts my ears. Most kids respond better to this approach because you are telling them specifically what you want from them instead of tell them what not to do.

M., 20 month old kids are NOT stubborn, they are CURIOUS TO EXPLORE, which is so totally normal and good! :) Please, do not worry about it at all.
why do you need him off the counter?
I would take off/from that counter everything that might be dangerous/not desirable for being touched by the curious boy objects, and place his toys there. See if he continues approaching the counter with the same interest: he might lose all the interest very soon, also :), but even if not, soon he will find a new space to explore, forgetting the 'importance' of that counter. Yet, if you insistently draw his attention to the fact that this is a forbidden territory, the more interested in the space he will be!!! So, it is a hard battle, and I suggest you rather win by being wise, not insistently prohibiting the approach...
Microwave: is it anyhow dangerous? Can you move it higher up where he won't get to it? If not, there are many ways, but please, no fight! You can always invite him to see what is going on in the microwave, so that his curiosity finds the outlet: putting food from the freezer in, let him touch the frozen food, then show what you do, let him stick his head into the microwave while you are right there, then close the door TOGETHER, and after the defrosting is completed, let him touch the food again... but insist that he does not push any buttons and does not open the door WITHOUT you. Say one word (they cannot follow many different instructions as easily, as just one word), for example, the word can be "TOGETHER!" You want to see the microwave, okay, we do it TOGETHER! If he goes there alone, you watch, and say immediately TOGETHER, and go with him. then, together move away from this "treasured chest". Of course, he needs to know the word NO, but I always tried to avoid unnecessary prohibitions, providing my kids as much space for exploring as I ever could. I don't mean it badly, but with little ones, some things work like when you train a dog: to develop certain reactions, especially, if the need for prohibition is about preventing dangerous things from happening. the clue is, then: the ordered prohibition comes always with the same word, same facial expression, same insistence, NEVER changing the outcome - meaning, never give up and allow something which is usually prohibited, so that he develops a pattern in his mind, that this is ALWAYS the LAW!
when unwanted behavior started, I tried to prevent it, and after saying my NO word, I hugged them and cuddled, and distracted their attention on something more interesting, and it works much better than fights, really... you are a Friend, right, not a constable, and a safe HAPPY environment works wonders for the entire family and each representative :)
Kids grow too fast, mine are 25,23,17, and I really miss that time of their being little Great explorers, which at that age and on, for a long time, they ARE!
I wish you all to stay very happy, and enJOY the discoveringS
of the environment, and inner movements of the feelings and thoughts!!! :)

When my youngest was about 16 months old he started climbing on the kitchen counter and kitchen table. I had to resort to baby gates to keep him in the playroom when I was showering, or whatever. He outgrew it, thankfully.

HA! I could have posted this request myself! My 20 month old is also VERY stubborn, VERY vocal (he's a screamer), and is a climber! I hate saying no to him all the time as well, so when I am taking him off the counter, table, chairs, sink, toilet, ect....I just tell him he will get hurt if he climbs up, and redirect him, and it seems I do this a million times a day. Being outside helps, taking him to the park where he can climb safely on things, but I know in the heat it is hard to do that all the time. SO, really all we can do is keep redirecting them!

I definitely will be keeping an eye on your responses, maybe I can learn something as well!

Redirect and tell him what to do rather than what not to do. Instead of saying no and taking him off the counter, remove him and say "You need to stay on the floor." Some circumstances will take defining the boundaries, but in time it should work better. An example of defining, the other day I needed my 2yo to stay in a particular room. I told him while pointing that he needed to stay on the green carpet and that the brown carpet was not allowed. He played happily on the green carpet. It's much easier than always saying no. Plus, if you only say no and don't direct, they can only guess what might be okay and what might not.

You need to take Love and Logic the Early Years. go get the book and then take the class this fall at Rocky Mountain christian Academy or Kangaroo Kingdom (the first is cheaper). So you say, in a nutshell,. "ah oh. that is not safe." the pick him up and put him in his room. Just do it over and over. Tou can say: "Do you want to be in your room with the door open or the door closed?" You will probably have to say, "oh, you chose closed.' But eventually, he will get used to it. So it is basically, ahoh, give him a chose (but the outcome is the same...just how he does it is a choice), and follow through. Do you want to hold my hand or the grocery cart when we cross the street? do you want to put on blue pants or these tan ones..and so on. Play a game with both parents to see sho can give him the most safe choices all day. then you get used to it. and later, you can say: playing with the microwave is not a safe choice. I have given you lots of ther choices, but this one is not one at all.

My son has figured this out too...he pushes chairs up to the counter and climbs up, and helps himself to whatever is up there that he wants. I try to put things that are appealing out of sight, and I just have to watch him like a hawk. This too shall pass! I hope! P.S> Our microwave is on top of the fridge.

constantly say no and pull him away. if it gets to the point where he still doesnt listen, give him a quick swat with removing him and saying no

Save no for serious things. Change that "no" to statements telling him what he should be doing. Here are some examples:

Counters are for (what ever is supposed to be on that particular one).

"The microwave is for cooking food."

"Chairs are for sitting in."

"Toys are for good boys to play with."

When he starts getting up on the counter or into stuff you don't want him in, remove him from the area and give him something else to do.

If he goes back and tries again, tell him if he gets up there, he will have to go to time out. Have a specific place he does that where he doesn't have toys, and you can make him sit down.

If he throws fits, take him to his room, set him in the middle of the floor, leave, and close the door. Fits aren't fun without an audience.

Baby gates may work for a while, but a good climber will go right over the top and be gone from where you put them in a flash. They can also hurt themselves by falling off the other side.

I would recommend the child proof door knobs that you have to be able to squeeze hard to make them turn, and put one on the inside of their bedroom door. When you need to do something like shower or clean with really obnoxious chemicals, put him in his room with his toys and turn on the baby monitor so you can hear what's going on.

The whole situation will be frustrating for a while, and take a lot of time for you to do these things, but in the end it will pay off and he will start understanding you mean it. Explaining that he can get hurt, or that things belong to you and are your tools can go a long way. Getting him a kitchen play set that can be close to the kitchen where he can do his cooking, too, might help.

The biggest thing is to have rules, consequences for breaking the rules, and be firm with them. Kids need consistancy.