20 Months and Only Has 4 Real Words. Should I Be Worried?

Updated on April 07, 2009
N.C. asks from Redondo Beach, CA
5 answers

Hi, my son I feel has a bit of a delay in speech compared to children his age. I am a stay at home mom and I speak to him only in french. The times he watches TV is also in french with his DVD's I bought from Québec. My husband comes home from work around 6:30 and speaks to him in english as do all the other people that interact with him. Now he says maman, papa, hi and bye and the rest is just jargon and sounds of tissss, baaaaa, beeeee. Everyone I know who has children around my age speak more at this age and even though my pediatrician thinks he is completely healthy and we should wait before starting intervention, I can't help but worry that he may have an underlined issue. He understand everything I say even if he does not always answers to my orders examples: pick this up, go give this to papa, come here, let's put on your shoes...He is extremely social. he flirts in front of women. he is hilarious!! He dances, jumps, laughs, plays well. He does not seem to be delayed in any other ways. Should I be worried? Can anyone write me about their experience with delay in speech. I hope he speaks by his 2 year old birthday!!! Thank you in advance for your responses.

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A.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

It's well documented that children growing up in multilingual households develop speech later, but benefit from it exponentially in the long-term. Also, someone below mentioned that boys develop later than girls. My advice would be to keep communicating with your pediatrician, and to try not to push your son (or yourself!) too much.

My pediatrician stressed comprehension and other means of communication (pointing, sign language, grunting, etc.) over speech at this age. It might make you feel better if you made a list of all of the words or commands that he also understands; one list for each language. I'll bet that the lists are much longer than you realize!

2 moms found this helpful
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J.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

i agree with sh. dont worry about it. sometimes kids that are raised bi lingual may have a hard time deciding what language to say to what person. i have twin nephews (only english speaking) that are 23m and only say like 5 words and their dr says they are fine. boys do take longer to talk. i know my daughter compared to most kids we go around is highly advanced in speech (about 200 words and shes 24m) but she also still babbles in between sentances. but she does watch bi lingual shows ie- dora, ni hao kilan, and sometimes diego. when she was under a year she signed a little bit (milk, bath, more, eat, drink).
try word reckonition games with him. pick up a toy and in french say the name then also in english. then ask him to say it too in french and english. i think this will help him. good luck!

1 mom found this helpful
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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Both my kids are bi-lingual- French and English.
They are fluent in both.

My son, however, has a delay in speaking. NOT anything developmentally 'wrong' with him (he was fully assessed), but boys are just generally 'slower' in talking than girls.
Our Speech Therapist says that 80% of her clients are "boys" and they are just slower in talking. It is the gender differences in normal development.

For me, since there is a 'free' service in my area, I do have speech therapy for my son. He is now 2.5 years old, and has progressed in 'english' speaking very well... but also in tandem with his age.

I would not worry about it... unless the Pediatrician says so. Or, you can get him assessed. Ask your Pediatrician for your Regional Center that does these 'free' services for children... the 'zero-to-three' program.

Again, your son is only 20 months old. My son, started his speech Therapy at about that age. Again, I do it because it is free, and it gives me & my son tips on how to 'encourage' speaking. And he enjoys it very much. Our Therapist is great.

My son, also knew sign language, and both languages. AFter being assessed, he was even found to be advanced in some areas, developmentally. And he is very smart and understands very complex things we tell him. So, there is nothing 'wrong' with a child for speaking at a slower pace... BUT, you can get an assessment to rule out actual real 'problems.' Which my son does NOT have.

The thing is, I do NOT think of my son as having a "problem" or him being "delayed or slower" than other kids. He is just bi-lingual, and this also plays a part in the whole scheme of things. BUT, there is nothing 'wrong' with that.

A child will talk when they are ready. My son is the same way. But, his progress is just not like my daughter, who was VERY talkative. My son, also can say French words too. Both my children do.

You cannot 'force' a child to speak... but you can use techniques or encourage them. Each child is different.

I don't think there is anything 'wrong' with your son. Remember, he is also bi-lingual. So even if he is not speaking at the level you want... he is absorbing everything and getting it.

I am glad though, that I have the speech therapy for my son, I believe it has jump started his enjoyment to talk. He was previously a little 'shy' to say things.

My husband only speaks to my kids in French. I only speak to them in English. That is the best way to teach bi-lingual kids. Their 'speaking' will blossom in time....
Kids who are bi-lingual have DOUBLE the amount of things they must learn... and even their brain synapses and connections are more developed because of it. Their understanding of speech in conjunction with the coordination of their mouth/sounds will come in time.

Remember, even if he just babbles and makes sounds, THIS is "talking." Talking does NOT have to be PERFECTLY articulated words as adults know it. Talking for a child this age does NOT have to be 'real' words, as you said. Your sone IS talking, and making sounds... all of this IS talking and precursors of talking. Articulation of words is a progression. A 2 year old will not 'talk' like a 5 year old.
It all has to be age appropriate.

Einstein did not talk until 3 years old. Mozart was also 'slow' in talking. No biggie. Unless there is something biologically/developmentally 'wrong' with your child... I would not worry. But things like Speech Therapy can be helpful.

*Side-note: I would not expect him to 'talk' by his 2 year old birthday. He already IS talking, after all. And, if you are concerned about what others say, just ignore it. There were 2 times when a Mom commented on my son 'not talking yet..." and it was irritating and she then thought my son was "dumber" than other kids because he was not 'talking' like she highly thought he should. So what. My son IS smart and advanced in many areas, he is just not ready to talk at full-speed like other kids. No biggie. My Speech Therapist says my son is very bright in comparison and is talking at a good progression for HIS pace.
All the best,
Susan

1 mom found this helpful
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L.B.

answers from San Diego on

HI N.,

My son just turned 3 last month and believe me I know exactly what you're going through. When he was about your son's age he only said about 4 words as well. I too was worried about his speech and even started taking him to see a speech therapist just to make sure everything was okay and to put my mind at ease. Everyone told me the same thing...stop comparing your son to other children! I never listened but I know now they're right because I swear right when he turned 3 he started talking in full sentences and doesn't stop...he blows me away. Over the last year his vocabulary grew a little but not much but it is amazing to hear him talking so much right now...I love it!! So the best advice I could give is not to worry, I'm sure he's fine but if you need some peace of mind it never hurts to go see a speech therapist. My son's daycare teaches sign language so I thought that may be why he wasn't talking but it seems he's known all along and was just waiting until he was ready to start speaking. Good luck =)

L.

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J.L.

answers from San Diego on

Hi N., a delay in speech could be caused by a couple different things, one is he on a pacifier, one of my daycare children came to me at the of 2 didn't talk, but always had a pacifier in her mouth, I started unplugging her as soon as her mom left, and withing 2 weeks she was saying all kinds of words, another reason that some kids don't talk at this age is because they point, fuss or throw tantrums to get what they want so using words is not necessary for them, in my brothers case when he was a tot, it was his tongue, underneath the tongue there is a thin piece of skin, it goes from the bottom of the underneath of the tongue to like the middle of the tongue, in my brothers case his went all the way to the tip of his tongue, so he could not move his tongue around the way he need to pronounce words. ounces he got it clipped he was able to talk, but with a lisp. In your sons case it may be because he is confused, you only talk to him in French everyone else talks to him in english it could be confusing him, I;m all for children learning second languages, but I think they need learn one and get that down good before learning a second language. Just a thought. Wish your family well, J.

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