My husband and I are at a lost for words - our child is pretty well behaved until bed time...I don't know what it is but she will scream and kick until she throws up.. I can feel the tension build between my husband and I. I am super stressed. WE can't give her her way.. no matter how much we tried to sooth her she screams as if she is being tortured. it scares me.. is this normal? What do I do?
I was going to chime in here, but Kate B said it best. Only thing I would chane is that I would drastically shove her bedtime back -- maybe even to 6:30. And Kate is right: Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child is a wonderful book. Should be a must read for all parents IMO.
I am sorry that you are going thru this...it is so tough. You might talk to her DR about it and see what he/she says.
My daughter was like that at times....I just put down towels and blankets all over the floor and let her cry it out, even if it meant throwing up. In our case, the throwing up was the attention getter, so once I figured that out and when she did it, I didn't say a word at all, didn't sympathize or anything. I cleaned her up, cleaned up the room in silence and put her back in bed.
Three times of that and we were done.
It was a control issue for our daughter. I told her if she screamed that way I would leave the room, but if she was calm, I would stay with her.
Wishing you all the best.
My son turned 2 in july. He did this for a while then i pulled his naps cut out all junk food (snack only consist of any kind of craker or fruit.) and I make sure he's getting plenty of exorcise thru out the day. I do no tv within 30 minutes of bed time and he is good to go now he asks me moma i go bed now? I say yep he grabs his blanket we brush his teeth and he's in bed sleeping within about 15 minutes. He use to scream for up to 2 hours making himself puke about 2 or 3 times. I learned that he knew if he puked I would take him out of bed changed him and his sheets. So he was getting attention. Because he just simply wasn't tired enough to go to bed. It was especially tough because It's just me with no help..... So with no naps a better diet bath time every night an hour before bed and no tv.... it's like heaven in my house now.... Good luck to you and I hope this helps. I feel for you I know exactly what your going thru.
Kimmie
Tantrums at 2, even to the point of throwing up, are indeed normal. I think the first thing to work on is changing bedtime, perhaps both time and routine. She is beyond tired and losing her marbles, and if you get her down earlier you may avoid it. So one is changing the time -- start her bedtime routine 30 or even 60 minutes earlier. Also look at the routine itself. Are you reading and singing and playing and hanging out for an hour? I have read that bedtime routine shouldn't last more than 30 minutes (from "hey it's time" to lights out) and that 20 minutes is optimal. You want her body to be getting the signal to wind down and get ready to sleep, and then SLEEP. It may take some days (even up to 2 weeks) to get her behavior under control. But at this age, you can't punish her tantrums when it's so closely related to being tired, you just have to make it easier for her to go to sleep. I recommend "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Marc Weissbluth, if you haven;t already read it.
Why not save the entire household the trauma of bedtime and simply lie with her until she's asleep...then inch out and move on with your night?
I have a 4 year old who still isn't a good sleeper...and we co-sleep.
It works for us...and makes bedtime that much easier.
Also you may find the book THE VITAL TOUCH by Sharon Heller a help to you. Check it out of your local library or grab it on Amazon.com
Three words. Love and Logic. Check out the book from your local library. Many good things in it will help your communication with her.
Yeah unfortunately, they can be normal. They get themselves so revved up and then just lose it. It is the worst. You are so right you cannot give in. One thing we did that worked when my son was that age was to go in get on his level touch him and have him breath in and out several times to calm down. Once they get crazy, you have to find a way to calm them down so they can settle. I agree with the other moms that you may want to up the bedtime and see if that helps. It does sound like it could have some over tiredness working. Of course a strong bedtime routine is helpful. Bath, cuddles on the couch maybe, teeth brush, story time, cuddles and then bed...that is what we do. And above all, stay calm yourselves. When you go to deal with it speak really calmly even if you are giving a command for her to get back in bed. Once she sees that the throw up won't work and that she will be sleeping when you say, it will ease up. I know it is rough, that little will coming online is a real doozie. It does get better, hang in there!!!!
Does she nap? If not, she needs to.
Do you have a bedtime routine?
If so... then PRIOR to the actual bedtime and routine... you need to "transition" her... to bedtime... instead of just all of a sudden.
So, say 1 hour BEFORE her bedtime... give a verbal head's-up... then, make everything dark and calm and quiet... let her do some quiet activity... like you read to her or watch a calm tv show. My son likes "Little Bear." Then, verbally cue her again "In 15 minutes, we go to bed... " and while she is winding down or before wind-down time... have her put on jammies and brush her teeth already. So then she can hang and kick back, before bed. Then, at bedtime, with her... go to her room. Let her arrange her bed etc., and make it all comfy. Keep the lights off or just turn only 1 light on. That is what I do. With both my kids: verbally cue them, transition them, wind-down with something calm, turn off things and make the room dark, if they want to watch Little Bear that's fine... by then they are already brushed teeth and in their jammies. Then they can 'relax' and watch Little Bear... and then, when it is done, that is the "cue" that it is bedtime. Then I walk them to their rooms... they arrange their beds... and get comfy... I talk a bit with them, keeping the lights OFF... and that's it.
I think... your child needs to be 'transitioned' to bed differently... now at her age. Not just all of a sudden, say bed time and then go to bed. Kids this age and older, need to "wind-down" first... THEN transition and then go to bed. Getting everything calm and boring prior. NO horseplay or any hyper activity before bed. Then they can't sleep and are too keyed up. Keep the house dark before bed...
all the best,
Susan
