2 Yr Old and "Mine, Mine, Mine!!"

Mine did that BIG TIME around this age but outgrew it and is able to willingly and spontaneously share. She won't be this way forever!

You may want to see if you can get her to understand that the toys come back to her. Or if she is designated to be the toy giver, that may help. Another thing is to have the kids keep a toy for 1 minute (they keep track, and it's way off, but that's okay) and then swap.

She's still young at 2 and even at 3. You may just want to keep the other kid out of her sightline or do things that don't involve toys. Another thing is giving playdates a rest & see if the phase passes as mysteriously as it started.

It's very normal and very common. They do grow out of it eventually.

Toddler's Rules of Possession

1. If I like it, it's mine.

2. If it's in my hand, it's mine.

3. If I can take it from you, it's mine.

4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.

5. If it's mine, it must NEVER appear to be yours in anyway.

6. If I'm doing or building something, all the pieces are mine.

7. If it looks just like mine, it is mine.

8. If I saw it first, it's mine.

9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.

10. If it's broken, it's yours.

The Toddlers Creed
by Dr. Burton L. White

If I want it,
IT'S MINE!

If I give it to you and change my mind later,
IT'S MINE!

If I can take it away from you,
IT'S MINE!

If it's mine it will never belong to anybody else,
No matter what.
If we are building something together,
All the pieces are mine!

If it looks just like mine,
IT'S MINE!

If it breaks or needs putting away,
IT'S YOURS!

This has been the creed of every toddler across the land since the beginning of toddler time. It's normal for the age, but frustrating for the mommy.

Lots of repetition of the rules and appropriate behavior are good. "Sharing means waiting your turn" and all such as that. Play with her on your own and reinforce the rules when you play with her at home. Make her wait her turn, take turns, and socialize with you the way you want her to socialize her with others. When she is with others and she isn't sharing or hoarding the toys give her a warning, tell her your expectations, redirect her attention to something else and if that doesn't work, remove her from the situation for a timeout.

Hope this helps (or at least makes you smile),

L.

It's a very normal phase. When mine was that age, I was also babysitting 3 other children that were the same exact age and boy did I hear that word a lot!! She's almost 3 now, and it still happens, but she's old enough now to understand the "share" word a little better. Yo Gabba Gabba has a great episode called "share" and since seeing it, my daughter says to her sister, "Sissy, do you want to come in my room and share". lol. Your little one is normal. Don't worry.

I had to smile. At that age my daughter would run into her brother's room, they are 6 years apart, and grab his Lego's then run out yelling mine mine!!!
You can imagine the chaos that brought about. She grew out of it.

wait it out they go through this. just keep trying to enforce the sharing rule. when my son would get just to outrageous with it i would just take the toy from him! he got over that real quick. lol good luck. just try to stick with it.

Such a 2 year old phase. They are understanding the concept of MINE right now. If the toy is her's, my reaction was to say, yes, that toy is yours, but Sally would really like to play with it too. Can you share? See, isn't it fun to share, that makes Sally happy too. I also make a point of saying that something is sister's, but you can BORROW it. See, sister is sharing with you. He then went and got all his blocks and piled them around sister (4 months old). I never got to the point of discipline with it, but if there was something that he wouldn't share, I would take it away and say that if he couldn't share, he couldn't play with it either.

I think it's just a stage. Our daughter will be 2 in less than 2 weeks, and she sometimes throws hissy fits over sharing sand toys w/other kids, even when the toys aren't hers. At the playground, I sit with her and repeat that we have to share, and then model the behavior of handing a shovel to another kid, or filling the bucket up with sand together. At this age, I don't think they realize just yet that it's more fun to play together (they're still doing parallel play, for the most part). At home, when she gets possessive, sometimes I mimic her until she starts laughing -- take her puppydog or teddybear and hug it to me, saying, "Mine" -- she thinks it's funny, but I noticed that she becomes more willing to share afterward. Also, she LOVES serving tea to me w/her little play tea set. She becomes the most generous person on earth at tea time:) I know that these are probably all things you've thought of and/or tried w/your daughter. These have worked for me. The good news is that they eventually grow out of it.....yay!

Before somebody comes over, you might try talking to her about which toys she is willing to let someone else play with. Put any special toys away so that during the playdate, no one plays with them. During the playdate, if she starts claiming things as MINE, you respond, "So you don't want to share this? Ok, I'll put it away." Then put it away so no one plays with it. Try to figure out which toys or activities lend themselves to sharing, and have those out.
Good luck. They do outgrow it with parental help, but it's hard.

Gotta love the terrible twos! This behavior is part of their job description. They have to say, "Mine!" a certain number of times (several hundred, I think it is) before they turn three.

This will pass, and all of you will survive. Be patient, friendly and firm. Keep a sense of humor. Model sharing to her while you're waiting this out: "Would you like to SHARE a seat on the sofa with me? May I SHARE a cookie with you?" On the other hand, If she can't share a toy, she can't play with it. Too bad - maybe she'd like to try again in a couple of minutes. Oh, that's much better! Yay!

It is normal and healthy development (although no fun for us!). When my kids can't play nice together with a toy, I calmly say - uh, oh, we aren't playing nicely and sharing so we'll put this one away until later, and take it from them. Good luck but don't stress and don't "punish" her for behavior that is healthy and normal. I'd draw the line at the trantrum stage - when I calmly take the toys away as a consequence. Also give her alternatives for getting upset. Maybe, "why don't we take turns. you can have this toy and give this one to your friend..." and make a game of it.

this is a perfectly normal thing. I've been told that in order for a child to learn to share, they first have to feel like they own something, hence the mine, mine mine! It's just a lesson that she will have to learn and you can help her by assuring her that whatever it is does belong to her, but she needs to let others play with it while they're there just like when she goes to so and so's house they allow her to play with their toys. It's a process!