2 Year Old Terrified of Crib

Sounds like it's time for his big boy bed. I was not able to keep my boys in cribs that long. My oldest was in a toddler bed at 1 and youngest was 9 months.

Cheryl K is spot on. You have let him win over and over. He knows what he has to do to get in bed with you - even throwing up. If you were screaming and crying and trying to make yourself throw up, you'd be hot and sweaty too.

Buy a cheap interior door and cut it off a foot over te door knob. Sand it good to remove any splinters. Put the doorknob on so that the lock is on the outside. This is now the "gate" to his room. He can see into the hallway, see the hallway nightlight, and can't get hurt trying to climb over it. Next, go to the store and pick out a toddler bed. Look at bedding to decorate te room. Decide on several that you can show him. Then take him shopping, all excited about his new "big boy room". Let him pick out something for his bed that you have already approved.

Once you have the bedroom together, take out the crib and pronounce him a big boy. Tell him that he has to sleep in his room now that he no longer has a crib. And make it stick.

Let him cry, J.. When he realizes that you will not come in and rescue him, he will give up his antics and you ALL will finally get some sleep. It will be hard, but if you give in, he will do this about OTHER things and you will have a little monster on your hands.

It should take you less than a week if you are 100% consistent.

Good luck,
Dawn

Ditto Dawn. Your poor hubby :( Unfortunately YOU allowed your son to take control, in the name of comforting him, and only you can undo it, hard as it may be.

My goodness he has you trained and he will continue to do that in other areas too as well. Put him in his room, either in the crib or on a mattress, toddler bed, or whatever is safe, shut the door ( or use a child gate if he doesn't climb over it ) after telling him he's a big boy now and that you won't be back to get him and then do it. It is not hurting him and this arrangement seems to be hurting your marriage. Which is the major thing to consider? Marriage or child getting his own way?
As for co sleeping, well if you want to do that it's one thing. I didn't and wouldn't want to and it does not hurt a child to sleep in their own bed. It's more for the parent than the child.

I'd get him a super cute toddler bed for his room. put the toddler bed near the door. Put a baby gate on his bedroom door and make sure his room is child proof. My son slept on the floor near his door for months but I just kept telling my self children all over the world sleep on floors and few have the luxury of wall to wall carpeting, solid walls and roof to protect from the elements, a clean pillow and blanket.

Oh my gosh! This is such a terrible one. Do you know for a fact that it is the crib that upsets him and not sleeping with you? Does he nap fine in a playpen? I give you lots of credit for realizing that this is taking a toll on your marriage and it is important that you protect your marriage.
If the problem is sleeping away from you, then the only way I know to address that is to just let him scream and cry it out. It is one of the toughest things on earth... and I just knew my Mom was heartless when she told me to just let my son scream....but I did...and it took time but it worked. Right now, letting him scream for 20 minutes isn't helping you and it isn't helping him. All he is learning is that if he screams for 20 minutes, Mommy will come. If you are always going to come, then why make him scream for 20 minutes? That is just torture for both you and him. I would recommend determining if the problem is sleeping away from you or if it is really the crib. If it is the crib (and I doubt it is) then change it.

Is he afraid of his crib, or is he afraid of sleeping alone? If it's really just the crib, get rid of it. I know he's young, but you can teach him to stay in a bed. If you don't think he's ready for a twin bed, you can always just put a mattress on the floor.

My son had a nightmare that made him scared of his crib and he never slept in it again (he was about 2 yrs and 5 months at the time). He slept in a pack and play for a couple of months after that, and then we moved to a new house and got him a twin bed.

Maybe it's time for him to get a big boy bed and see if that helps.

Not accusing but just a question, do you use his crib for time outs when he is being naughty?

Is he truly terrified of the crib, or just angry?

I have a feeling that it is because he doesn't want to be away from you... you've let him get used to sleeping next to someone, and he wants that to continue.

He has also trained you very well...... he knows if he screams and cries and carries on, you will come and get him, soothe him, and let him sleep with you.

I agree... it is time for a toddler bed, or just the mattress on the floor, if that is what it takes..... I like the idea of cutting the door so he can see out, but can't get out.

How about this... what would happen if you would leave for the evening, and dad put him to bed? Can dad tolerate the crying better than you? Maybe dad can help sleep-train him, and you leave the house for an hour or so......

We moved our daughter to a twin mattress on the floor when she was 14 months old. It was the only way she'd sleep in her own room and it worked fine. Other times she slept with me. Either was good.

I'm a bit confused about your statement that sleeping with your son is "taking a toll on your marriage". Your son is only small for a short time and two adults can figure out ways to be intimate other than at night and in bed. And, co-sleeping is not unhealthy at all.

Don't worry, you'll get through this stage.
I would put a twin mattress on the floor in his room next to the wall.
At this point, I may no longer use the crib. Take the crib out of the room & store it in another room before you dismantle it...just in case. Most
likely you are done with the crib.
Make sure he has a nightlight for his room (you can always put it behind a dresser if it's too bright).
Put up a baby gate a cross the doorway of his room to keep him from wandering out & it's still safe enough for you to check on him.
If the transition is hard, try sitting near his doorway quietly w/o saying anything so he knows you are there but you're not interfering w/his falling asleep.
It's just one of many phases & it will pass.
Also, don't use his crib as the timeout zone.
Hang in there! :)

Because we moved around a lot, we didn't have a crib. We got a twin mattress and put in on the floor and my son slept in that. I nursed, so it was very convenient for me because I could fit on the mattress, would be comfortable if I fell asleep, and could easily get out of it. Perhaps this would be good for you to transition him.

You mention that there is another bedroom - take out the crib and put the mattress on the other room on the floor of your son's room (unless it's too big-then get a twin for your son's room). Transition to that with him. Once he's used to that, then sit next to the bed while he falls asleep, then sit in a chair with your computer or something till he falls asleep, etc. Some kids like to have a parent there as they drift off. He'll get used to you not being right on top of him to fall asleep.

I agree with trying either the mattress or the crib in your room. Once he gets used to it there you could try his room again.

I will never understand the crib nonsense... both of my daughters coslept and slept in a pack n play bassinet. Older dd started sleeping on a mattress on the floor before a year old. It worked for her. She's still on a mattress at 19 months. We are about to switch her to a toddler bed since she is finally staying on the mattress at night. Throw a mattress in the floor and see what he does. My bet Is he'll live the freedom.