2 Year Old Angry About Weaning

It's only been 5 days. He'll get over this. Don't worry about this causing some kind of anger issues. It won't.

Also, I'm not disagreeing with the other moms who say to wean slowly, but I want to add my experience that all three of mine were weaned cold turkey, for different reasons, and it was FINE. And they are FINE today.

You didn't wean him. You stopped cold turkey. Weaning implies cutting down over time. He's used to it. You're body is used to it. Something you may not realize about breastmilk: it contains trace amounts of morphine. Presumably that's so babies will get the nutrients they need even if they're not that hungry. They crave it because they're addicted to it. Your kid is probably aggressive because he's in withdrawal.

Well, my "baby" has just turned 14, but she too was really upset when we weaned her. So here is how it went for us....
I did have a date in mind as to the weaning date. I was going to have knee surgery and would have been on pain meds for a bit after the surgery. So the weaning process began. The advice about "weaning" is right on! Maybe you have cut back already. We cut it down over a period of about a month. The hardest one to give up was the time just before bed. It is about replacement. I don't remember if my husband really got in there with the bed time stories and a switch on what that routine was...probably tho 'cause he is awesome :)
Anyway, the part I want to share with you is that we put it on the calendar for her to see. Circled it in color about 2 weeks prior. Then about 3 days prior, we really made her part of the process. We explained that this is the day we will celebrate her being a big girl. The circled day is the day she will no longer nurse. Then the morning of, we actually had cake for breakfast and made it a day of celebration. She was 2 years 5 months. She did great that morning. Then came the night time. She was MAD! She screamed and screamed. To tell you the truth, the neighbors even called the police on us. They knocked on our door, we opened the door and there were many cars and many police around our house. We explained that she is really mad about not nursing. Since she was in my arms at the moment crying, they could see it was valid. All they said was they received a domestic disturbance call from a neighbor. They came close up to my husband to see if they could smell alcohol (which was amazing to us, we don't drink at all) All in all, we felt protected by the police, that if anything were ever to happen, they would be there for us. We have a funny story to tell at family reunions, about the night she stopped nursing, and there were no problems or bad memories beyond that. Make a day of celebration, change the routine (maybe a car ride or a new awesome stuffed animal, and CAKE FOR BREAKFAST! I think she still remembers that! Good luck, you WILL make it through!!!

I was not able to nurse as long as you have but I have many friends who have recently weaned their little ones. Many of them said they went away for a weekend without their child so the out of sight out of mind seemed to really help. I don;t know if this is an option for you but you could also go out for an hour around bedtime so your husband could put him to sleep without you there.

I would agree with the other mom about your husband doing bedtime for a bit so he is not snuggling with you and wanting to nurse. The other suggestion would be to also if possible have your husband be the one to initially get him out of bed in the morning, again to help curb his temptation to want to nurse.

All of these things seemed to help with my friends children although, many of them commented it is very hard for mom and child so be kind to yourself and it is o.k. to feel sad that this time is ending. :)

I hope this helps and good luck,

N.

Hi,
I don't know how many times a day you normally nursed him, but to cut cold turkey is rough...for both of you. i would slowly wean him one feeding at a time. for instance my son is 20months and my plan was to have him weaned by his 2nd bday too. sooo, i have been slowly over a few weeks doing this. he was nursing once before bed, once upon waking and once before nap, if we were home and i was with him. so at most a day 3x but usually 2. so what i did was first stop the morning nursing, which was more for my benefit anyway :) i wanted to sleep longer...then we stopped the before bedtime nursing (dad stepped in for this) and it went over sooooo much smoother than i ever thought it would. my son also loves to nurse. now we are down to a random before nap nurse if we are home and i am the one putting him down. i will slowly stop this one too. hope this helped, good luck. oh, i have a huge milk supply, always have, and thought i would be totally engorged too, but since i slowly weaned him i have no engorgment. good luck!

My son is now 28mo, and we are still nursing at bedtime and occassionally overnight. He's getting his 2yr molars, and while it's annoying at times for me because I just want to sleep, I know that nursing soothes him emotionally and physically, so it's worth it to me to continue nursing for now.

Weaning is best done gradually to allow your breasts to adjust to the decreasing demand for milk and to make changes easier for both of you. Stopping cold turkey can be very distressing for both mom and baby and can result in plugged ducts or mastitis - an infection of the breast tissue. It takes 3 days to increase or decrease supply.

For your son, he is too young to understand why you all of a sudden stopped something so important to him, so of course, he's going to be angry and aggressive. This is how toddlers express their frustration! It's also wrong to think that he'll just be ok eventually.

That being said, there ARE a few things you can do to help ease your engorgement:

- You can express just enough milk by hand or pump as needed for comfort. This will decrease your chance of plugged ducts and/or infection.

- Ice can help reduce swelling and make you more comfortable while your milk is decreasing. Apply ice for 15-20 minutes at least 4 times each day or as needed. Be sure to put a towel or cloth between your skin and the ice, and avoid putting ice on your nipples.

- Wash cold, raw cabbage leaves and crush the leaf veins to soften the leaf. Place these in your bra cups, and replace them about every 2 hours, or as they wilt.

- Use a pain reliveer such as ibuprofen or acetaminophen.

- Try to stay away from foods/herbs that are known to increase milk supply, like fennel, anise and hops (beer). You could try some of the herbs that decrease supply, like basil, comfrey, parsley, and sage.

It's important to be realistic about your expectations for weaning. Kids who are allowed to wean at their own pace usually continue well past their 1st birthday, and many continue well past 2. Breastfeeding becomes more important for comfort than nourishment the older the child gets and the more solid food the child eats. It's also recommended that you be prepared to slow the pace of weaning if your child becomes fussy or clingy, ill, or seems to be teething.

For mothers, weaning can bring feelings of sadness, especially if you wean abruptly. Even mothers who feel ready for weaning may feel a sense of loss. Support & encouragement are important, as is extra physical contact and affection with your son, which can help compensate for the loss of the closeness of nursing. Do you feel emotionally that you made the wrong decision to stop? I don't know your reasons for stopping, especially so abruptly, but many women nurse their toddlers well after age 2. Breastfeeding at any age is beneficial to both mom and baby, and I hope you didn't feel pressured to wean! Look at your reasons, and TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS!

As for morphine, I'm not sure where Wendy got her information, but the only morphine that would be in your breastmilk if is YOU are taking it!!!!!!!