19 Month Old Is Too Shy for Mommy & Me Classes

P.,
One of my really good friends sends her children to the KinderCare in Old Tappan, NJ. She put her first son there from three months to 5 years old, her second son is still there, he is only 2 years old. If I were working, I would put my children there, too.

My son, 3 yrs old, goes to Creative Minds Montessori in Old Tappan, NJ. I live in Woodcliff Lake, but I drive through Westwood to get there. It is only 10 minutes from my home. I have a 19 year old daughter, born on May 29! She is home with me. I quit my fill time job after I had her. So when my son was born I put him in daycare and he would scream every time I left. I would cry the whole car ride to work. I didn't trust having just one person at home with him, I would rather him be somewhere where there are other eyes watching.

Anyway, if you want to talk more, I am at ____@____.com't it a great age 19 months! My daughter is not talking much yet, but very non-verbal. She is now pointing to her diaper after she pees or poops, not sure I should start potty training her or not. I didn't start with my son until he was 2.5, and it only took a few months and then he was trained.

Have a good night,
S.

Hello,
I have a 19 month old as well, and we enrolled him in one of the music/gym classes this summer. He is shy as well at times and he just started to warm up a little bit by the time all the sessions were over. He stays at home with a live out nanny as well and my 7 month old daughter. I have also been contemplating daycare so he could become more social and play with kids his age. I know it is hard since most wont take kids until they are b/w 2-3 years old ( and I work out of the home). Do you take him to parks? How does he do when there are other kids playing in the park?

Hi P.

I have two kids, 3 years and 16 mon. My oldest son is also very quiet and cautions around other people. He has been going to daycare a couple of times a week since he was 17 mon. Being around other kids and adults have definetely help him in becoming more comfortable in social situations. I would recommend you try to find a daycare with a small group of kids. I think it is easier for quiet kids to come out of their shells if they are in small groups of kids. The ideal would be to first take him to mommy and me classes or playgroups before starting daycare.
Children's libraries are great places to meet other moms and their kids.

C.

I think you should try the classes first. We take a MUSIC TOGETHER class and both my kids love it. I sometimes feel shy around ppl I don't know so I know it is hard to be in a crowd. The more he does it I think the better he will get. As for the school. Can you do like 2 half days to get him used to it. Then you can make it two whole days...then 3...you see. As he likes it more...he might open up. My son is STILL VERY attached to me and didn't often seek out other children...it has gotten MUCh better...he goes to Pre-K full time...so I can feel your pain. The classes will also give you a place to meet other moms and maybe you'll both end up with a friend :)

Good Luck!

hi P..

your little son sound just fine to me. i have developed day-care-preschool for 18 years and untill eight months ago owe and operate 12 day-care/ preschool in new jersey.
see"www. sunnysideacademies.com/public. " Preschool is the best option for a working mother who cannot afford to be home with your child. your son is really just learning to ajust to other people, some kids take a while to do this, he is properly a little reserve right now. More children his age will help him open up. pre-school is also very safe,he will interact with not only his peers but other children and teachers. your nanny need to gave you advance notice, that is: her plans for the year so that you can plan around them. two weeks notice is just not acceptable for a month and a half vocation. your son needs more time to ajust, for example, you could have asked your nanny to take him to the center a few time before she leaves so that he get use to not having her around. don't feel guilty because you work full time, he will reap the benefit later. have your nanny plan activities in a structure format for him each day, for example pick a team for the week, like "animal farm" then let her plan a lesson with interactive activity each day. changing team each week would keep him engage and more likely to open up. you can introduce him to a very profound reading program." your baby can read.com, it cost about $214.00. have her teach him this program three times a day. plan play dates with other children at your church etc, mothers who share your same valves. i think introducing him to day-care twice a week is great for him. today's children need a head start in this academic atmosphere, early childhood education is very good for him, also introduce him to music, it help open up children. i am a proud mother of a six months old daughter. good luck mom.S. n.

Hi P.,

I understand your dilemma and started my daughter in daycare for this very reason. She is 14 months now and I started her in daycare 2 days each week when she was 12 months old. She is a very happy little girl and does well with her family, but is quite shy around others. When she first started in daycare (I take her to the Goddard School in Orange, CT, and absolutely love it!), she was very shy. She wouldn't crawl around or play with the others. Basically, she would just sit in one place and hold her blanket and stuffed toy all day. When I would drop her off, she would cry and cry...something I'm not used to with her. I almost pulled her out and thought about getting a nanny, but my husband convinced me to keep her in, that it was good for her to be around others her age. Now, she's been in for about 2 months and absolutely loves it...the Goddard staff is so happy with her progress there. When I drop her off, she barely waves goodbye to me and is completely engrossed in playing with the other children. I also work much from home (I'm an accountant), so it was hard for me to bring her to daycare but, truthfully, I just wasn't getting anything done :) And, I knew it would be really good for her to socialize more. On another note, if you're considering daycare centers, I can't say enough good things about Goddard...they're wonderful!!! If you'd like to hear more about them, please let me know and I'd be happy to get into more detail. I know that you are in a different location, but the operating mode is probably similar. Good luck :)