My son has recently started acting up during bath time. In the past, we've used bath time as play time. He used to lay on his tummy and put his face in the water, and has several bath toys he loves playing with. For the past month he has started acting out, screaming and crying during his entire bath. He won't sit down in the tub or even touch his toys. He latches on to us and tries to get out the entire time.
Have other parents experienced this? My husband and I can't help but wonder if maybe something happened (or is happening) at daycare that involves the bathtub? I really don't like to jump to conclusions, but he has also started acting up when we drop him off in the mornings.
It's hard for us... we don't want to automatically dismiss this as a phase. But at the same time, we don't want to assume the worst either. I would like to know if this seems like "normal" behavior?
Thank you so much EVERYONE for your reponses! I feel so much better about this. I will try all of your suggestions and keep my fingers crossed this passes soon. :) Thanks again!
Same thing happened to my daughter at around the same age. I got in the tub with her & she did better. We also got her a doll that could go in the tub so she could take the parent role & wash the baby.
My daughter is the same way... she started screaming/crying and the such at bath time and climb out or hang on to me with a death grip.
She started around 20 months... she will be 2 in August and we are still struggling. Once a week I try to get her in the bath and washed.
So far the best way that I have found of washing her is on dry ground with a wash cloth... I know that she is not getting fully clean but at least it is something. Washing her hair is a whole different store and struggle but I try not to 'force' it too much.
Hi,
My 17mo. daughter did the exact same thing last month. We wondered if the water was too hot, too cold, had some burning toxin in it.... (I am a SAHM so I knew she has had no bad experiences, so your mind seems to jump to the absurd, like toxins!)
It really screwed up our "schedule" at bedtime but we catered to her new fear and just sponge bathed her when she refused the tub but we kept trying (we have a 4 year old who loves the tub) and eventually one night as she automatically screamed to get out she saw a toy she wanted in the water, sat down and has been fine ever since. Be sure, we had offered her that toy numerous times to no avail.
So I dont know why they do it, maybe its a new found fun to watch us moms jump when they scream or perhaps they are growing and uncomfortable or teething and chilled or diaper rashy....It does end!
Hope this helps.
B.
My kids went through a similar phase too! Around the same age I think. Especially my son. He was always happy in the bath, we'd even bathe the two of them together (he's 2 and his sister is 4) and they would play together and splash and have fun. Then for whatever reason one day he changed his mind about having fun in the bath. He would have a similar episode to your son. At it was difficult getting him over it, but keep at it and he will soon realize that bath time is okay. Maybe have him pick out a new bath toy at the store, or some bubble bath. Something fun to add to the bath time experience. But on a side note... if you think there is something going on at daycare, I would look into that as well. Good Luck!
We went through a similar thing with our son, I think at about the same age. If I remember correctly, he had slipped and dunked himself which scared him. My husband got in the bath with him a few times to get him back into enjoying the bath and he now loves his baths again. So much so that one punishment we have used is that he won't get his bubble bath!
T.,
I am a mother of a 4 year old boy and 2 year old boy and neither of them went through a phase like this. This has to be very frustrating for you and your husband. I appreciate your concern about not wanting to overreact regarding the daycare, yet I think it's normal and ok to think that there could be a link to what's happening there and his behavior, especially since he has also not wanted to attend daycare recently either. It's worth asking some non-accusatory questions at daycare...like if they've been doing any water play and what does it involve, or asking your provider if something has recently changed at daycare...and that the reason you are asking is because your son has not been wanting to come and you are trying to find out why. It might also be worth talking to a professional, like a child psychologist or counselor, to see if they could offer some suggestions. My thought is, better to error on the side of caution, even to the point of finding a new Daycare if that's what you feel is best for your son.
While it's never a bad idea to check out the daycare situation, I agree with everyone else...it is a "normal" phase...my son went through it too somewhere between 18 months and 24 months. He started not liking the bath, and acting out when I dropped him off almost anywhere--grandparents, church nursery, etc. But, just a phase!
Hi T.,
I agree with most of the other ladies saying that this is a normal developmental phase. My son is 20 months and a couple of months ago he all of a sudden started making a fuss when I was trying to wash his hair. He was trying to push my hands away, etc. I just calmly talked to him and told him "Mommy needs to wash your hair" etc. I just tried my best to go about the bath routine as normal as possible and after a few weeks or a month he just stopped fussing, as suddenly as it had started.
He has also been more clingy and not wanting me to leave when I drop him off at daycare. I see other kids in his group (18 - 24 mos) do the same thing, so I really think this is a normal thing for that age group. For a while he was really attached to me, getting upset if I had to leave him with my husband and now he is becoming more attached to my husband and gets upset if he leaves.
It never hurts to check the daycare situation, but if he seems happy when you go to pick him up and you have no reason to suspect any issues otherwise, it's probably safe to assume that it's just a developmental phase.
I read in "what to expect from your toddler" that this is very common behavior forhis age. The book suggests to try to have him try taking a shower with his father.
Nothing you said makes me think anything aside from a normal developmental stage. My oldest went through a similar thing with bathtime around that age. My mom does our daycare but around that age he would throw huge fits when I went to leave to go to work. When leaving don't drag it out. With the baths, just talk calmly with him. Only put the minimal amount of water in the tub or maybe try getting into the bath with him. Don't push to get him to enjoy it, make things as quick and painless as possible and he will learn to love bathtime again.
My son is just getting out of this phase. I don't think anything in particular happened, but it's one of those random fears toddlers get. Whenever we would start draining the tub, he would get frantic. We just tried to talk him through it, pointing at the water going down the drain and telling him he was safe. As for screaming throughout the bath, we just tried to wash him as fast as possible and then cuddled and talked to him afterwards. He seems to be ok with it now, and it only lasted a few weeks.
I have a 17 month old girl who alternates between loving and hating her bath. If she's happy she gets a 20 minute bath and if she's afraid of the tub her bath is about 60 seconds long.
I can never predict what's going to happen when I draw her bath...just go with the flow. No pun intended.
It is supposed to be normal behavior for a toddler.
Good luck!
Our son went through this too around the same age when previously he loved his bath. We made sure not to "force" him into the tub in case it created a more permanent fear. We just let him stand in the water and told him he didn't have to sit or let him stand outside the tub while it filled up and then eventually his toys lured him in. It lasted about 2-4 weeks. He's now 6 and would live in water if we let him! Good luck!
Hi T.
It can be a very normal age and stage for children to be scared of the bath. at this age they start to think they may be sucked down the drain with the water. So It may just be a phase but you are his mother and if your gut is telling you something else is going on you must listen. Hope you find some answers soon. :)T.
Will he sit in the bath if you are in it too? Maybe you will have to take baths together for a little while.
I have 2 boys (ages 3 and 4) and my 3 year old did that same thing when he was just about 2 years old. He doesn't go to daycare and nothing traumatic had happened to cause it so I wasn't too worried about it. It lasted about 2 weeks. I had to introduce some new toys to the tub and it helped him to calm down. I think that as they start to become more aware of things and their surroundings children also start to develop "fears". I would give it a week or so and try giving him a new toy for the tub. The bathtub crayons are what worked for me. Good luck and I hope it isn't anything more serious.
Skip the baths for a week or two. You can always give him a sponge bath and have him wear deodorant each day. Re-introduce bathing with a popsicle for the bathtub and let him wear his swimming suit.
T.,
I have twins that are almost 3, and I would say that at about 18 months they too started acting afraid of the tub, so I climbed right in! They loved having me in there, (though there wasn't enought space for me!) and it calmed fears that we weren't sure how they started. My kids do not go to daycare, so that is not an issue.
Good luck to you and your little one!
J.
T.,
Not sure how long it has been going on, but our son acts up like that in the bathtub when he has an ear infection. he LOVES his baths normally, so when he starts acting up in the tub and "latches" to us, we know now that it is an ear infection! Hope it helps!
THIS IS NORMAL! Think of it as a developmental sign post. He is becoming more aware of his environment and retaining memories from other experiences (maybe getting water in his ears or something.) At this age, otherwise mellow kids can suddenly freak out over stuff like elevators and baths and uncles. Anything that doesn't behave in a way they expect will cause fear. Before this stage a baby isn't aware enough of his environment to determine what is and is not "normal." That is what is being developed now in his brain. He may suddenly become afraid of puppets or stuffed animals, etc. The key is to not overreact. If the child feels you tense up over something, they feel that their fear is legitimate and cycle out of control with it. If they sense from you that this is no big deal, then they can usually calm themselves down. It is very common for a kid this age to freak out suddenly over being left somewhere they have been 100 times before. Please don't start doubting your daycare over this issue. It is a very normal phase.
That happened to my oldest son although I think he was younger at the time. He went from enjoying the bath to screaming like he was in pain. I was convinced there was really something wrong with him and made the doctors do tests they didn't really want to do. It did turn out to be just a phase and I had no explanation for it. Can you talk to daycare about it and see if anything has happened there? He is also at a prime age for separation anxiety so that may explain why he is acting up at drop off time. I would try to be understanding about his reaction to the bath. Try to comfort and reassure him. Can you sponge bathe him or something until this passes? Good luck.
This is very normal at this age. My son went thru the same thing. Just make bath time very quick. Scrub him up and get him out. Enevtually he will relax and want to have fun in the tub again.
As for him acting up at drop-off for daycare... at this time they are also going thru a detachment phase. Stick to a routine and always tell him where you are going, when you will be home, and say goodbye. But if you do fear something worse is going on at daycare proceed in that dirrection.
Good luck
Try this youtube post and check out the B.R.I.T.E. B.R.A.T.S. story when their website opens in late September 2011
NEVER AGAIN WILL WE BATHE
