16 Weeks Old - She WILL NOT Nap Unless She Is Being Held or in a Sling... HELP!

My 13 mo old was a swing baby from the get-go. It was the only place other than my arms he would sleep.

Hi K.,
I HIGHLY recommend the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Marc Weissbluth to help get your daughter on a sleep schedule. He has a lot of suggestions besides the cry it out method. It is a #1 choice for some children, but not all. At your daughter's age, her biological sleep rhythm should be starting to emerge. Morning nap is the first to develop, around 9am with the early afternoon nap around 1pm following. He advises no more than 2 hrs of awake time between naps. "Sleep begets sleep" is what he says. I didn't believe it until I saw it happening with my daughter. She wouldn't nap anywhere but in my arms either. For co-sleepers he recommend laying down with them to start naps. He has some great suggestions like "fading" that have worked for many of my friends who couldn't stand to let their children cry it out either. Many times, babies don't sleep well because they are overtired. At 4 months old, my daughter was waking up at about 7am, with a nap around 9am, 1pm and 4pm and a bedtime around 7pm. Her naps lasted about 1 hour. At about 5 months old, we dropped the late afternoon nap and moved her bedtime earlier by an hour. Hope it helps!
L.

I remember going through the same thing when my son was an infant. We are huge AP/Dr. Sears supporters :)

I used to lay down with him, nurse him till he fell asleep and it's not a popular habit, in fact it's not recommended, but I used to leave him on the bed with pillows surrounding him. I would sort of lay on a pillow to warm it and replace where I was laying with the pillow. I did check on him often. It worked most times but there were times I would just have to resign myself to take a nap with him.

Just remember, this too shall pass.

Good Luck!

Hi K. --

I too am practicing AP and my 20 week old daughter had a similar napping issue also. However, you should know that, like many other phases, this one will pass too. My daughter definitely prefers napping while mommy is wearing her (I don't use a sling, I use a wrap which I find VERY comfy and kind to my back - I highly recommend getting one!), but now if/when she sleeps in the wrap I either a) use the opportunity to sit down and catch up on emails, newspaper, etc.; b) use the opportunity to sit down and grab a catnap myself (yes indeed!! it's still important to sleep when the baby sleeps!); or, c) go about my business/chores as usual -- that's the beauty of babywearing, being in motion is actually very soothing!

"Crying it out" is never part of the solution IMHO -- she'll just build up more apprehension about going to sleep...

Best of luck!!

Try swaddling and putting on some classical music. If she doesn't like that, try Bing Crosby. My boys love that.
Another good one is get one of those Baby Einstein videos and put her in a bouncer seat to watch it w/ the vibrator on.

Another thing; consider straying away from the co-sleeping. For about a week we tried that w/ our boys, and they wouldn't nap during the day either w/out being held or me laying down next to them.

With my youngest daughter (4 1/2 now), I have been singing her the same song EVERYDAY since she was 2 weeks old before sleep, and then I wind up a stuffed animal that plays a soft lullabye. When she would sleep somewhere other than home, I would wear a T-shirt the day before all day, then tuck it (like a sheet into the port a crib, bassinet, whatever she was sleepin in) so her mommy's smell was right there. The one time I forgot was disasterous.

I say let her cry. Just kidding. ;) I can't stand to hear my son cry either. They cry because they need something...even if that something is our touch...it is a need and it is something.

With that said. I would say to let her cry for a moment. A little whimpering, actually is more what I mean. Then, keep trying to put her down...music, vibrating seats, perhaps a swing and timing. My son is 5 1/2 months old and we still have a hard time getting him to rest on his own. Bedtime is easy as we are cosleeping as well. But, daytime naps are usually in my arms. He goes to daycare now for part of the day and I was just lucky to find someone to hold him. His provider does and he is happy and my heart can rest.

So, as I type this I realize that maybe you can just give it TIME. At four months, she just isn't ready. My son wasn't either. I walked around with him in his carrier (ERGO) and still do it at times now. But, he also spends time resting on his own now. We just have to lay him down at the right time in his sleep so as not to disturb him.

It's crazy the things we do. ;) Time and patience....Hold her now because soon she won't want to be held. Cherish it but keep trying...she'll catch on.

Just keep trying different things - you're right to not let her cry. Some babies are easier than others, you might just have to be exhausted for a while. I know I was! Good luck!

Hi,K.-

I would say your child is completely normal. My son took until about 6 months to get the hang of napping by himself. Until then, it was a carrier or the swing. I hated putting him in the swing, but sometimes it was the only way to give my back a break.

Just keep trying. She will eventually get the hang of it. I'm sorry I couldn't be of more specific help! I just kept putting him down in his crib (we didn't co-sleep), and one day, he got it. There are still days he'd rather snuggle up with me (ironic, since we don't co-sleep), so we nap together in Mommy and Daddy's bed. It takes time and consistency.

Hang in there!