15Mon Old Bangs Head on the Floor

Okay this is how it was explained to me...

You are frustrating him by taking something away from him and not explaining why. Literally, my son's Pedi told me that and he was right.

I would take something away and say 'no' but, 'no' meant nothing to my son. He was just a baby and this word was nothing he could translate and I was taking away the rock he wanted so desperately to put in his mouth.

My son's Pedi (and my therapist) explained to me that this was the perfect age to begin helping my son understand discipline through using words and explaination. Taking the rock and saying, 'no' was just making him mad and he was showing me by banging his head with stuff. So, I was advised to start explaining to him, 'J. that rock is dirty and not a toy, let's go play with your blocks over here'.
Redirect the behavior with a reason why it needs redirecting and if anger/frustration appear then explain, 'I understand you're mad right now, but this is not safe and you could get hurt'. I use the words 'danger' and 'safe' a lot with my son when explaining things and he knows them through repitition. Always keep a soothing voice and remain calm, no matter how scary it looks to you.

Be consistent with your words and show him that it could be harmful...kids benefit so much from being talked to that I don't think we do it enough and often forget we need to teach and lead by example so they know what to do.

Good Luck!!

My 21 month old son went thru a phase where he would hit his head. it did pass but now he hits himself. I asked the doctor and she told me that it is just a phase, like so many other things. Pick your battles as sometimes kids have to learn the hard way to truly understand why you are saying no. It is very hard to "let go" and just let a boy be a boy. I had struggled with it and have now just given in to the fact that somethings are just not worth figthing him on. Of course his safety is #1 to me however sometimes we get too overbearing about what we will and will not let them do. I always talk to my son and explain why I don't want him to do soemthing even though most times it just goes in one ear and out the other. I know that eventually he will understand and appreciate my loving caring NO's. Keep up the good work and just remember that boys will be boys so us mommies have to let go at some point. :)

Yeah, I guess a lot of people have this happen. My 16 month old daughter also does this on occasion. I also try to explain why she can't have something and then redirect her attention to a toy or activity. This sometimes works and other times doesn't. If your son is anything like my daughter, who is extremely willful and curious, then it may take a while for it to stop. Lately when she does this she also starts screaming and if i completely ignore it she stops. I usually then ask her if shes done and she'll shake her head yes or say yes. I try to move her to the carpet or somewhere she can hit her head that it won't hurt her if possible. Good luck! I think this is just a short stage from what I've been told.

my daughter did that when she was teething (to oddly enough relieve pain). but she doesnt hit her head out of frustration. she hits herself. but its normal from what i read.

Our daughter used to do the same things around that age. It is scary! Our pediatrician said not to worry too much. She said "kids won't hurt themselves, and if they do, they won't do it again!" She said that her nephew used to to this and one time he bonked himself pretty good, and then the next time he was mad, he threw himself on the floor and veeeery gently banged his head on the ground, lol. And then he eventually stopped doing it. My daughter also stopped doing it - it was actually a phase that really didn't last all that long! Just keep a close eye on him when he does in case he DOES hurt himself, because it IS possible, and just try to stay as calm as possible. Just keep telling him "Oh no, that's ouchie! I know you're mad, but try taking a deep breath instead" (then you do it in an exaggerated way). It'll pass! Good Luck!

Hi L., my now 22 year old son did that once cause my husband hold him no about something he was younger, my husband gave him one good swat on his diaper, and he never did it again, we had a no tantrum policy while raisng our kids, who are all grown now, my daughter at around 18 months got mad cause i would not let her go out on the patio with me cause i was going to ligh the grill, she started banging her head on the glass door, my husband gave her one good swat, she didn't do it again until she was 2 she got upset banged her head on the floor, she got a knot and bruise, I showed it to her in the mirror, she's now 20 and hasn't done it sinse. Discipline is the key. J.

this is one of many different ways a baby "copes" with frustrating things... ie: even screaming is a way for them to "tune-out" over stimulation and external stimuli, when tired, because it "blinds-out" the noise that is irking them or frustrating them. It is a phase and will pass though.

For banging his head, you got a lot of good advice...
at this age, everything is an introduction... and abstract concepts is not really literally understood by them yet.. nor, being told "no." But they will learn... keep in mind, that kids also get de-sensitized by hearing "no" so much, then they just tune you out.

What I did/do with my kids is teach them "danger", "stop...", "wait..." and concepts such as "hot" and "cold."
But using that in tandem with distraction & re-direction.

ALSO, though, important to remember, is that a child this young does NOT have "impulse control" yet. FULL impulse control is not even fully developed in TEENagers... so, keep expectations in line with their age and keep it age appropriate.

Grabbing things is all about exploring, it is an "instinct' in them. They can't stop... so we just have to, over time... guide them about their world, what is "dangerous" and what is safe or unsafe. And it takes LOTS of repetition teaching them. Even if they "know" this... you will STILL have children that will touch dangerous things or do dangerous things. It is only part of their learning...
For me, I let my kids touch anything ... even mud, and I was right there, and we explored and smelled things and touched different textures.... thereby, lessening the "forbidden fruit" attitude about it... thus building up "familiarity" with objects/things... and thus, confidence about their reactions about it and their world. And, so what if they got dirty. I dressed them in clothes I didn't mind that got dirty. If they "ate" a leaf... then I just took it out of their mouth... and I know what plants are poisonous or not. So I never panicked. But, if they put a rock or small object in their mouth.... I said "Danger, stop." then took it out of their mouth and pantomimed to them what can happen... ie: choking. Beyond that, I just made sure there were no small choking hazards in the house.... because I know a baby this age cannot control themselves or self-monitor.

Give it time, but he will outgrow this reaction. Most babies do. Some even hit themselves out of frustration or pull their hair.
Instead of telling him "no"... try using other words such as: 'stop, look at Mommy..." or, "hurt... danger..." or "Uh-oh... " The goal being to use a word that will trigger a distraction and cause them to LOOK at you, instead of tuning you out. Then kneel down at his eye-level... and pick him up, and hug him. Or, give him a pillow, and have him use that... teaching him "hard" versus "soft" kinds of things.

Oh, and keep "explanations" simple... NOT too "wordy" or they will not understand and/or their attention span just won't follow you/listen after 10 words of "explanation."
Keep it all in line with their age and cognition.

All the best,
Susan