15 Month Old Sleep Advice

Updated on March 31, 2011
L.H. asks from Boynton Beach, FL
7 answers

For the longest time my daughter slept on her own, until she got sick and I took her into our bed so I could sit her up so she could breath (Pillows weren't doing the trick in her bed). Now for the past 2 months her sleep schedule has been really wonky. Up until a week ago she'd sometimes sleep in her bed all night, waking up a few times but going down decently well, but more nights than not she'd be in our bed.

Now this past week she refuses to sleep in her bed, while she used to at least do it till 1 am or later, and in our bed she literally kicks and trashes all night, waking up constantly, sleeping, then waking again to cry. :/

I want her to sleep in her own, peacefully, but I'm not sure how to go about it. If I try and just leave her in her crib shes most likely going to just cry, I've been told its okay to let them cry a bit... But my MIL shares the house with us, so if she hears her, no matter what I'm trying, even if I'm in the room with the baby, and she hears her cry for more than 5 minutes she comes in and interrupts anything. I've asked her not to, but she still does...

The way I get my daughter to fall asleep now is I rock her to sleep with a bottle, and then put her in her bed. Usually this is very easy, only taking around 15 minutes and once shes in her bed she has a pacifier and a teddy bear she likes to hug. This is all around 8 pm.

But this just isn't working, any suggestions? should I let her cry it out?

She doesn't get any naps past 3 pm, and usually its a nap from around 12:30-2pm, and she does GREAT, never argues, wakes up, or gets upset about going down for a nap. So why is night time so different?

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So What Happened?

Well we decided to try and let her cry it out in her bed. First off I was going to put her to sleep as normally and if she woke up I'd go in, lay her down, make sure she had her pacifier and then reassure her for a minute or two then leave for about 5 minutes to just repeat all the steps until she fell asleep. But my MIL came in angry claiming child cruelty after just a minute of me being out of the room the first time, so to stop her from taking my daughter out of the crib I had to sit in her room for the 2 or so hours it took for her to calm down, play a little in her crib alone then finally pass out.

After she did fall asleep at about 11:30 (Woke up at 9, after being put down at 8), she woke up about 3-4 times throughout the night before finally waking up at 6:30. Luckily when she did wake up after falling asleep the second time, she was rather easy to put down the remaining times.

Second night, went to sleep at 8, like usual, then she didn't wake up till 2 am! Improvement to her usual of waking up at 9 pm and yelling till she got her way! After the 2 am wake up, she went down quickly, and slept till 4, then till 8!

Third night, she went down at 8 no problem, slept till 2 am again! Woke up at 4 after that, and then finally got up at 6:30.

So far I've a lot happier with her improvements, and I hope that she'll eventually learn to sleep the whole night again. c:

More Answers

M.M.

answers from Chicago on

Yep, let her cry. And if you have to stand outside the door to prevent your MIL from going in, do it.
It will only take a night or two, and DD will be sleeping like an angel angel again.

She's at the age where she's realized that she can get certain reactions out of you if she behaves a certain way. You keep going in to rock and comfort her. She likes that! You have to break the habit. Think of it like a temper tantrum, it's just happening overnight, instead.

Whatever you do, don't take her back in your bed again. That's how you wind up with a 4yr old in there and no space to yourself!

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M.R.

answers from Boca Raton on

There are a lot of options out there, and a lot of strong opinions too. So you will have to find a strategy that works for your family, that you can live with. My daughter (now 3 1/2) has never been a good sleeper, and it has always been a problem for our family. Personally, I would stop allowing her to sleep in your bed at all, if you don't want her in there. Co-sleeping is great if you want to do it, but an absolute nightmare if you don't (especially if you have a tosser/turner/thrasher like my daughter). And I personally don't think you will be successful with getting her to put herself back to sleep in her own bed until you stop rocking her to sleep or putting her to sleep on a bottle. If it was working for you i'd be all for it. But it doesn't sound like it is.

Right around your daughter's age, we finally resorted to a "cry it out" method. It was the only thing that worked for us and we had to reinstitute it periodically after her sleeping habits got disrupted by an illness, travel, etc. Let me clear, I am NOT an advocate for just letting her cry endlessly. We bought the Dr. Ferber book (you could probably get it at a consignment store or from the library) and followed his recommendation of letting her cry for just a few minutes the first time (2 - 5 minutes, what ever works for you) and then checking on her, assuring her you're still there and then leaving without fanfare or emotion, then returning at increasingly longer periods of time to reassure her you are still there, but not physically comforting her by holding her, etc. It was really hard for us to let her scream and cry those first few nights we tried it and I told myself we would give it one week. If we didn't see serious improvement, we would abandon that strategy and find a new one. Well, It only took us 3 or 4 nights the first time we id it and it was an absolute miracle for us! She started putting herself to sleep and not crying out at night when she woke up.

She still isn't a great sleeper, but at this age it is usually a need to go potty or nightmares that wake her up. And I can deal with that much better because once you reassure her or take her to the bathroom, she willingly goes back to bed and puts herself back to sleep.

Good luck! A child that doesn't sleep makes life incredibly difficult for the whole family.

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K.M.

answers from Tampa on

Take a look at her diet, any change? Make sure she is getting enough calcium.
Perhaps your mil can turn on a fan, or some other white noise so that she sleep, and therfore can quit interrupting.
best, k

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S.S.

answers from Miami on

Nightime is so different because YOU are letting her have control. When YOU change, she will change, and never before. You are the parent, not you MIL. If you don't get this rectified soon, you will have created a monster in other areas of your child's life as well. Good boundries come from knowing where your place is and how to self regulate. Leave her in her crib and I am SURE she will find a way to soothe herself in a night or two. Caution-DO NOT let her fall asleep with a bottle-big dental bills!

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T.F.

answers from Miami on

The Sleep Lady, aka Kim West, author of Good Night Sleep Tight, saved my sanity with my kids and helping them become awesome sleepers. I learned a ton from her, which influenced my writing of several sleep help articles. Here's a link to the one for 13 to 18 month olds: http://hubpages.com/hub/Sleep-Training-Sleep-Help-for-13-...
I hope it helps! Best wishes!

P.M.

answers from Tampa on

Seems like she realized she likes sleeping better with Mommy than sleeping alone in her room. I can't blame her - after all adults do not ever CHOOSE to sleep alone...

I'm a co-sleeper advocate and still co-sleep with my 5 y/o. We've discussed her sleeping in her own room by the end of 3 months, because that is when her little brother is due. I enjoy co-sleeping... thrashing is probably due to having too much room or bad dreams.

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J.S.

answers from San Francisco on

You could try the CIO method, it seems to work for a lot of families. But if you are a little hesitant at starting that you could try changing her room ambiance -- no light, night light, white noise, soft music, etc.
Here are some sleeping suggestions you might want to check out:

http://www.theskinnyscoop.com/search/sleep?utm_campaign=t...

Good luck!

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