There are a lot of options out there, and a lot of strong opinions too. So you will have to find a strategy that works for your family, that you can live with. My daughter (now 3 1/2) has never been a good sleeper, and it has always been a problem for our family. Personally, I would stop allowing her to sleep in your bed at all, if you don't want her in there. Co-sleeping is great if you want to do it, but an absolute nightmare if you don't (especially if you have a tosser/turner/thrasher like my daughter). And I personally don't think you will be successful with getting her to put herself back to sleep in her own bed until you stop rocking her to sleep or putting her to sleep on a bottle. If it was working for you i'd be all for it. But it doesn't sound like it is.
Right around your daughter's age, we finally resorted to a "cry it out" method. It was the only thing that worked for us and we had to reinstitute it periodically after her sleeping habits got disrupted by an illness, travel, etc. Let me clear, I am NOT an advocate for just letting her cry endlessly. We bought the Dr. Ferber book (you could probably get it at a consignment store or from the library) and followed his recommendation of letting her cry for just a few minutes the first time (2 - 5 minutes, what ever works for you) and then checking on her, assuring her you're still there and then leaving without fanfare or emotion, then returning at increasingly longer periods of time to reassure her you are still there, but not physically comforting her by holding her, etc. It was really hard for us to let her scream and cry those first few nights we tried it and I told myself we would give it one week. If we didn't see serious improvement, we would abandon that strategy and find a new one. Well, It only took us 3 or 4 nights the first time we id it and it was an absolute miracle for us! She started putting herself to sleep and not crying out at night when she woke up.
She still isn't a great sleeper, but at this age it is usually a need to go potty or nightmares that wake her up. And I can deal with that much better because once you reassure her or take her to the bathroom, she willingly goes back to bed and puts herself back to sleep.
Good luck! A child that doesn't sleep makes life incredibly difficult for the whole family.