14Mo old....now Difficult to Get to Bed

He's entering a new phase/stage in his development...this is very likely a form of Seperation Anxiety that he is developing.

You said you wait for the 'sleepy signs' and then put him down...Do you have a routine that is consistent? Or just waiting for the signals? A consistent routine, helps toddlers know what to expect and that the next thing is coming is sleep and not play or food.

Is he taking two naps or just one? At around this age many kids transition from two naps to just one, and this behavior may be due to being 'OVERTIRED' and uncomfortable with 'trying' to get to sleep when he can't. The crying/fussing is him needing your help and you're answering that with the rocking, which is awesome!! I would take a look at sample routines on www.babycenter.com for your son's age and go from there.

When my little dude entered this phase/stage of his development, his Seperation Anxiety only appeared at bedtime and naptime for about a month and then spread to the rest of our day. But, with a few little changes to our day I was able to ease him through it. I too, rocked my son to sleep until he was comfy and then let him sleep on my bed so he could keep smelling my scent and get the comfort...he slept longer. If you want to keep him in the crib, I would get a lovey that he can cuddle with and keep that has picked up your scent. I did this with my son, who co-sleeps and it gave him something to look for when he woke up that wasn't me. I began, talking up the lovey and he even picked it out...I explained how the lovey was his new 'big boy' friend that would keep him company while he slept if Mommy wasn't there. It tooks a few weeks, but he went from looking for me to just grabbing the lovey.

There are SO many things that start happening in this phase. Our kids are more mobile, so they want to be everywhere ALL at once. They don't want to miss a beat and taking a nap or sleeping means cutting out their exploring time. It's not really a rebellion, he's too young to be rebeling just YET...but, he probably will eventually...

Try making him a part of your day and the new baby coming...let him watch while you do dishes. I used to give my son plastic tuperware to dry/wash on his high chair and he loved that. Put his chair where he can see you cook dinner safely or little tasks...make him your helper and let him be a part of the daily routine, when it's safe and comfortable for both of you.

Toddlers benefit A LOT from explanation and conversation. It not only helps with their own speech development, but they understand FAR MORE than many people give them credit.

Best of luck!!

Part of the rebellion could be he senses the other baby coming. I would rock him as long as you can. He is still very young to have to give up all moms attention I would do what you can to make him feel safe. It can be done but I'm sure you are going to have your hands full for awhile. Good luck with both babies.

In addition to other very succinct and valid responses...
since you are due for a baby soon.... you might want to MAYBE enlist Hubby/Daddy into the night-time & bedtime routines for your eldest child.

That way, once your 2nd baby comes, your son will have gotten used to Daddy putting him to bed etc. thereby, "allowing" you room for flexibility and having to nurse your newborn at night.

After-all, once the 2nd baby comes... it WILL be a lot more busy... and, HUBBY will need to help even more, if he does not already. So in light of that... I would really start to figure out the game-plan and who will do what in the future when you become a 2-child family.

And yes also you are pregnant, and you will be tired and other things.

Your son, naturally, children "feel" changes coming on... they have a lot of intuition. So, prep him as well.... and he will need LOTS OF ATTENTION once your 2nd baby comes home. DO NOT expect him to SUDDENLY be an "angel" and adjust to it all right away. Some kids take months, if not more than 1 year to even "adjust" to having a sibling. After-all, it is not just "you" who is having a baby... your Son is too. Allow him to have "regressions" AND transgressions, AND any moodiness, clinginess etc. It's ALL normal.

ALSO KEEP IN MIND, that your son, given his age & development... he may very well be going through "separation anxiety" once the baby comes. So be prepared for that. It's normal. At various ages... a child has separation anxiety, and it will be manifested in various ways per their age and stage.

And yes, bedtime and nap time and other things may upset his "routine" and schedule. Just really TRY to keep your Son's everyday habits/routines/schedules the SAME as much as possible, so as to "help" him when his life changes and he has a "baby" in the house to deal with. "Structure" for a child, and "knowing" what to expect, ie: stability, is very important for a child and their ability to adapt.

Also, with a 2nd baby coming up... like Deanna Leigh said.... I would not just put your son to nap IF he shows sleepy-time signals... by the time they already show these "signs" they are ALREADY over-tired. Over-tired babies/children actually do NOT sleep well, protest sleep, and are more restless. It would be beneficial to figure out a "schedule" or a more concrete routine for your son's naps and bedtime... and then when the 2nd baby comes.....it will bring more sanity to it all. And this will also help You, so that you can plan your day.

You might also try and give your son his own "lovey" to cuddle when he sleeps or whenever. It may comfort him, and especially once the baby comes home or Mom is away at the hospital....
My son loves his stuffed cow... it is a wonderful "pal" for him and he sleeps so well with it.

All the best,
Susan

He is definitely sensing the new baby. Hang in there as he will adjust quickly after the baby comes. We went through this with my daughter. It only took a week or two after the baby to get back to normal routines. Just keep reassuring him that you love him and it will all work out. Newborns sleep so much in the beginning so you can still rock your son to sleep after the baby is born.

Another option is to consider teaching your child to put himself to sleep. We rocked and cuddled our baby to sleep for months before allowing him to develop the skills on his own. It is hard at first, because you have to endure your baby's crying as they adjust, but our boy learned quickly and is a pro now. We chose the "Ferber method," where you let him cry for 5 minutes, then come in to comfort him, then 10 minutes, comfort, 15, comfort, etc. That went on for two hours, with him getting increasingly agitated each time we entered the room. Finally, I let him cry for 30 minutes straight. Two to three days of cold turkey crying at naps and bedtime saw a decrease from 30 minutes to 15, 10, 5, and now there are times when he doesn't cry at all. He just lays down and chats to himself for a bit, wrestles with his blanket, then zonks out. I know a lot of moms think this is hard-hearted, but I can now see that letting him develop this skill is no different than helping him learn to walk or feed himself. With a new baby on the way, it may be worth a try. Simplifying your life now may make it easier with a newborn.

Hang in there Jessica. At 14 months, he may be having separation anxiety peaks right about now. So, he doesn't want to leave your sight. Any changes can affect kids' sleep patterns/routines. I know what it's like to have kids close together. My 1st two are 2y 9m and the next 2 are 14 months apart. It's hard to explain to a 14 month old that mommy needs to take care of the baby. but let's face it. there isn't someone there to help you out all the time. and even if there is, sometimes, they all just want mommy.

we did a lot of lap sharing. if i were nursing, and would have to hold my 14 month old, i would have her "help" me take care of the baby. i'd latch the baby and have the older on sit on the other leg with her arm around the baby too. that way she felt involved. make sure you have a lot of support pillows, it can get tiring. :)

it's such a precious time with your little ones. and it really doesn't last forever. so go with what you're comfortable with and know that if it works for you, there's nothing wrong with it.