13 Month Old Self Weaning?

You've done a great job, there is absolutely no reason to feel guilty. All babies are different and may self wean at different stafges, or may not. My son self weaned at 10 months, so I ended up pumping for a little while longer and mixing the breastmilk with formula. I would suggest for you to do the same. Just keep pumping as long as you can and if you have to mix it with whole milk since he is old enough for whole milk.

He's at a good age to wean anyway, so look at the bright side you won't have to go through all the frustration of having to wean which can be more difficult!

This is normal, my son did the same thing. At meals I started giving him milk in his cup, yes he did notice it. But he also was interested in the food I just kept it up.

Both of my babies self weaned at around 9-10 months old. It was really tough on me because I REALLY wanted to nurse them both for at least a year, but it became a battle and it was emotionally draining on me to fight it, so I had to give it up. I pumped for as long as I could to give them some breastmilk, but it didn't last forever and eventually I had to give them formula. I felt guilt for a long time (especially with my first), but eventually you realize that you have to follow their lead and do what is best for your family. I tried to nurse through the "nursing strikes", but they would kick and scream and just get so upset over it that it wasn't worth it anymore. I'm not sure if something happens to my milk at that age or what, but I thought it was strange that both of my kids gave it up at the same age (of course I didn't realize it until I had my second baby). If you made it past a year old, then you have done the BEST thing for your baby and you should not feel any guilt for letting it go at this point. I know this is easier said than done, but you should be really proud of making it to the one year mark.

On a practical note....has your son ever had breastmilk in either a bottle or a sippy cup? You could try pumping and mixing breastmilk with the whole milk (start with mostly breastmilk and gradually decrease that until he is drinking all milk). It will probably take some time, but he'll get it eventually. If he is getting dairy from other sources, I wouldn't worry too much. Just give him some vitamins and he'll be fine until he figures it out. Good luck and don't be too hard on yourself. You've done a great job!

This happened with both my 10-year-old and 4-year-old daughters. They just started becoming really independent once they were a year old and didn't want to take the time to nurse--I think they were afraid they were missing something! It was hard on me b/c I had problems with getting plugged ducts, and when they would only nurse for a couple of minutes, I would always end up with a painful plugged duct. So, there was some incentive for me to let them go ahead and wean. I think it is a good idea to follow his lead and let him switch over to the cup if that is where he's headed right now...I've known so many moms who diligently kept on bfing and then couldn't get their 2 1/2 year olds to wean! Lots of temper tantrums and tears at that age. He may still want to nurse at naptime and bedtime, but if he doesn't want to, don't force it. If he wasn't getting proper nutrition, he would still be hungry and want to nurse, so try not to beat yourself up or feel guilty about something that is a normal process. Good luck!

Hi Amy,

I am a postpartum doula and I have helped clients who are weaning children old enough to be drinking cows milk/milk. One thing we have done successfully is to incorporate their "required" amount of milk into the food they have that day. I steam broccoli and mix with a little milk/cheese to make broccoli "casserole". A little milk in with their sweet potato or white potatoes makes mashed potatoes. Smoothies are another wonderful way to get the required amount of milk in to the diet too. Please, do try to get your kids to have a taste for greens of different types. Steam these, blend and puree with cheese, milk, etc and they are wonderful. The babies, 8 months and older that I have helped with even have raw greens in with their smoothies and are thriving. The best of luck to you and know that you gave your baby the very best start possible.

Oh... and about the guilt. Well, it appears to be part of being a woman. I have learned from being a parent myself, is to give myself the advice I would want my own child to receive. Would I want my child to beat herself up over doing her very best and to feel guilty for doing absolutely nothing wrong? No way! So be as kind to yourself as to your child! Much mothering love to you.

W.
www.bundleofjoypostpartum.com

At this point the breastfeeding is for you, not him. Your son is growing up - let him. No need for guilt - he's telling you he doesn't need/nor want it anymore. Time to move on to the next stage of life.

Hi Amy,
Seems like they all ween at their own schedule. My son did the same thing. I introduced milk to him and he was completely done with breastfeeding. I think your on to something...once they learn how to walk, breastfeeding take's too long for them and eats at their exploring time.

:)

I have been reading a book on weaning, and it says that some children will wean themselves at that age. I also have some friends whose babies weaned themselves around that time. It sounds like he is ready!!! You have done a fabulous thing for you little one by nursing him, and it is normal to feel guilty and sad. But, if he is ready, you are doing the best thing for him. You should feel very proud of your little one for taking this huge step of independence! If he is getting enough cheese and yogurt and plenty of sunshine, he should be getting the calcium and Vitamin D he needs. But, I would check with his pediatrician to be sure.

Mine all three self weaned at about this age. Very normal, but still a little sad for Mommy. Try to get him to drink some milk, and stay with the cheese and yogurt too.

Sounds exactly what mine did :) At 1 she started not being as interested in nursing and so I decided SLOWLY start weaning and by 14 months was completely weaned. We were nursing 4x a day so I dropped the afternoon feeding and she dropped the morning one on her own.Then when I dropped the lunch feeding she dropped the night feeding on her own as well. I knew she was ready since she did it on her own and I was fine with it!! She also took a sippy cup but didn't really like milk but I did't worry about it, I gave her lots of cheese, yogurt and other stuff with dairy. She didn't start really drinking milk until 20 months and I never worried about it.

Guilty is a wasted emotion in this case. I applaud your
efforts to do the healthiest thing for nuturing your
baby. Sorrow for a phase that is passing might be more
on target. There will be a lot more of that. After the
transition, you will feel so much better, but it is called
TIME. Try to enjoy every stage. Think about the
blessings of being able to nuture your baby by breast-
feeding. The weaning part is inevitable and almost always leaves a void.
I like the suggestion to mix mostly breast milk with whole milk increasing more and more to whole milk. TIME. It's
all beautiful. Good luck.

Sadly, he is telling you it is time to wean. Skip a couple of feedings and see how he does. See if he misses it. It is no big deal if he will not drink milk. My oldest liked 2% and not whole since that was closest to the consistency of breast milk.

Good Luck!

Amy,
Congrats on nursing! Congrats on overcoming difficulties at the outset of your nursing relationship! It sounds like you worked hard to get to where you are.
There are some babies who cut *way* back on frequency/duration of nursing around this age. This may or may not indicate that he is ready to quit completely. It sounds as though he is getting enough from solids, etc that he is not needing breast milk for nutritional reasons. There are still loads of benefits to him getting breastmilk.
When my kids were this age, the top of the list was "mama comfort" -- just reconnecting. They'd go off and explore then come back to 'home base' :-) Nurse for all of 10sec then be off again. I didn't see this as reason to take it away - just another phase of babyhood.
Both of mine nursed until around 2.5yrs....they just cut way back (for the most part) around 15mos. I'd see the amount of nursing go up as they got in teeth, or got hurt, or if we had house guests for an extended stay, or if we traveled....nursing gave them a constant.
Hope this makes sense.

If you are really wanting to continue, you could simply offer it more often. He may or may not take you up on it.
If it's the closeness that you're missing, then perhaps more story times w/ him on your lap...if he'll put up with it :-)
Breast milk in a sippy cup sound like a good idea if you're wanting him to continue to receive the anti-bodies, allergy help, and good nutrients from you.

HTH and makes sense! Please feel free to email if you have questions about what I wrote, etc.

K., mama to
Catherne, 5.5y
Samuel, 2.5y
Baby, due 9/09

13 months of breastfeeding is great. When I quit breastfeeding my daughter I was just sad. I still sometimes get sad thinking about it because I had to stop for medical reasons. She was almost 2. I think any amount of breastfeeding does our babies so much good. Don't feel guilty. If he is ready to move on you will not have the struggle of having to wean. That is hard. Good luck and know that you have given your son what he needs.

It sure sounds like it. I nursed all 3 of my children when they were babies and never could get past the first year because they became more active and interested in other food. If he nurses 5 minutes that's okay, he's getting enough from that. You are feeding him other healthy food that he is enjoying. He sounds precious .. enjoy him .. they grow so fast. My baby just turned 27 last month ... lol ... D.

My daughter self weaned at 12 months. I cried because I had planned to nurse at least until she was 2 and I felt very rejected. But, she was ready to wean and I couldn't force her to nurse so I made sure she got plenty of good food and drank milk from a cup.
Just wanted to let you know I know how you feel, she's 9 now and we did get past it! :~)

Please don't feel guilty, your little one is adjusting his schedule. You have done very well to stick with nursing him even though there were problems to overcome. You deserve a good pat on the back. Now, your son is making choices. Let us pray that he always makes wise ones. Enjoy each step of his growth. You will always long for the cuddly days but you will also enjoy watching him grow strong and competent.

Blessings, B.

Hi Amy,
My 10mo old started self weaning. I suggest the feeling you are experiencing is sadness rather than guilt. The emotional bond that nursing provides is being changed from his total dependence on you to his independence. Yes, that was a very difficult time for me. You are wise to recognize his signals that he is ready to be more independent and are following his lead. Since he is getting milk through yogurt and cheese he is still getting calcium and other vitamins. The older he gets, the greater steps to independence. You are doing a great job. HTH

Yes, some kids self-wean, which is a blessing! My grandson did it when he was 11 months old - so his M. just tapered off nursing over 2 weeks and he was fine with it. He was not a fan of milk in a cup either, so he ate lots of yogurt and string cheese, cottage cheese and finally came around to milk in a cup shortly after.

Sounds a lot like my son who I think associated nursing with quiet time, sleep, rest, and he just wanted to play and be active. I put cow's milk in a bottle to wean him and he never wanted to nurse again. You did great. Just make sure he eats a balanced diet, lots of fresh food and he'll be great. I had to give mine chocolat milk to drink it from a sippy cup.

Guilty? You have done a great job. He is so healthy and smart, he is now ready to start exploring the world. Let him lead the way. He sounds independent so let him stay that way.

Just continue to feed him nutritional meals and he will be fine. This could be a stage where is just not that hungry. Then he will be in a stage were he cannot eat enough. Just listen and watch your child, their bodies know what they need.

FYI, he may not like the cold of the milk in the cup. let it warm up for a few minutes, before you offer it to him. Is the water you give him room temp?

I read somewhere that this stage is referred to as the 'yo-yo stage'. Toddler wants up, toddler wants down - constantly. That new freedom of movement comes with new insecurities. Nursing/cuddling in your lap for just a few minutes gives them more than nutrition, it recharges their self-confidence 'battery'. Nursing is magical when it comes to soothing the many bumps & boo-boos that happen more often at this stage. My toddler did the same thing around this time and got distracted very easily. It felt more like wrestling than nursing at times. I thought about weaning but after a few months nursing took on a new purpose and became more about emotional support and bonding than nutrition. We continued for another year (she self-weaned shortly after turning two)and I'd do it again in a heartbeat. You may start to get the judgmental question about 'how long are you going to breastfeed?' from some people. why do they care? Boob-a-phobia in some cases. Does anyone ask a mom that smirky question when they see someone feeding their baby babyfood out of a jar? No. Hang in there Amy - to me it sounds like you aren't ready to give it up. :) If you are ready - then congratulations on your first dose of mommy guilt! There is lots more of that ahead! ;-)