13 Month Old Is Hard to Feed

I had the same problem with my first daughter at 13 months. It was incredibly frustrating and worrisome, but don't worry. She won't starve herself. I did the same thing you are doing - trying everything that she could eat. After about 3 months, she just stopped being so picky and started eating normally again. My pediatrician did give me some advice during her picky phase. Make sure meal time isn't when she's sleepy, let her try to feed herself (finger foods are great), and don't worry about malnutrition. It's really just a phase, even though it seems like it lasts forever. If you have friends or family you can invite for the occasional meal, I found that sometimes just putting her in her highchair, putting food in front of her, and proceeding to "ignore" her and talk with the other people at the table got good results. If she doesn't feel that eating is a power struggle, she might decide that she really wants to eat. Also, if you know another mom with a child her age with good eating habits, try having a meal with them. Kids will imitate each other, and good behavior is contagious. Good luck!

Hi R.!!! I think most parents go through periods of wanting to pull their hair out durring meal times. Try not to get too frustrated. My two little "angels" still gobble up something one day and three days later think it's the most disgusting thing ever (and they are 2&4)! One thing I never did was act like a short order cook. From the time they could eat "real" food they were served the same thing as everyone else; the only exception was if I was preparing something very spicey-- When you feed your daughter give her what you have made and let her eat or not eat.....I know as moms we tend to think that our babies are gonna starve or be malnurished if they don't eat every meal but that simply is not true! She may not eat breakfast or much lunch and then eat a huge dinner. I would try to make sure that any snacks you give her are healthy and make sure she isn't getting one too close to meal times (liquids can fill her up too so watch out for that before meals also). If there is one thing your daughter will eat consistantly try to have a small portion of it with her meals along with the new foods and see if that helps. As for not wanting to be in her highchair you may want to try one of the booster seats available--both mine used one. They strap on to a regular chair so your little one can sit at the table with you-- then let her feed herself. Yes it gets messy but that way you aren't fighting with her to open up and she may have fun eating like mommy; you can also try games like 'see who can take the biggest bite'. Good luck!! A.

R.,

I can only imagine feeling the type of loss you and your baby are feeling. God bless you both.

I am also a single mother, but my daughter is 4. She was like this as well. Loves something for like one bite then the next she doesn't want it. This is a classic power play. She is sitting back loving that you love her enough to jump through the hoops she is holding up.

When it's time to eat fix what you want her to have put it in front of her and sit down and eat yours. Gently encourage her to eat. If she eats great if not...DO NOT GIVE HER ANYTHING ELSE. Don't fight about it, but don't give in.

My Dr. told me that she will eat when she is hungry. If she doesn't eat dinner at dinner time put it in the microwave until she comes to you telling you that she is hungry and pull it back out.

Remember, you are the Mommy and She is the kid. You are in control not her. I know you would hate to send her to bed without supper, but if she was really really really hungry she would eat the food you fixed.

Try not to make it a fight though.

Hey R.

i second all the other mom's that this is totally normal for 1 year olds. My son began almost on cue the day after his first birthday being a picky eater. We always try to feed him at least one thing that we know he will eat at mealtimes so some days all he eats is mandarin oranges and yogurt! and some days he doesn't eat anything but as long as he is gaining weight the dr. says not to worry. I recommend reading the book How to Get Your Kid to Eat (But Not Too Much). Its got insights on eating habits for all stages, baby through pre-teen. It has been really helpful for me in getting to a less frustrated point, keeping meals at a (mostly) scheduled time and in a family setting (i.e. atthe table, not just running willy nilly). Goodluck, and hang in there.....

my guy is doing the same thing, he's almost a year and a half though. He loves grill cheese, mac and cheese, green beans and chicken, but here lately he won't eat them. He turns his head and wrinkles his nose. I too, was trying different things, pulling out all things, but soon realized that was the wrong thing to do. I try to eat when he does and if he refuses I don't force him to eat. He eventually gets hungry and voila! he gobbles it up. Try not to worry too much about it, I'm sure she's going through some adjustments too, thank goodness you have each other.

good luck and best wishes

Hi R.! I have a six year old little boy and a 20 month old little girl. Both of my kids have always been great eaters, but on thing I found with my son, was he did what your daughter is doing to try to manipulate me. I think at that age they start trying us and if we continue giving in to them they will continue this behavior. I completely agree with everyone, cook what you want, make meal time a huge production, and if she doesn't eat she will when she gets hungry enough. Every time I face a struggle with either one of my children I make huge productions of what we are trying to do and make them feel like they did something amazing. Maybe when you put her in her highchair you could cheer for her and tell her what a big girl she is like mommy.
We will keep you and your daughter in our prayers! You two, although she was small at the time, have experienced a traumatic loss. Try to hang in there and remember she feels a lot of what you feel. Best wishes!!! D.