13 Month Old Crying Hysterically at Bedtime

One thing that I can think of: is it daylight when he takes a nap? Maybe try leaving a small lamp or night light on till he goes to sleep. Maybe that is why he is having a hard time at night. My son is a very good sleeper, but sometimes he doesn't want to go to bed so I'll leave his light on or the hall way light on till he falls to sleep. He will play in his crib for a while then goes right to sleep. Or maybe try some music. That worked for my oldest son. They make lots of great and cheap cd's for babies. I hope that helps.

S.,

Have you ruled out any reason why he could be upset at night, i.e. GI pain (what was known as colic, or perhaps a dairy or gluten intolerance)or perhaps a brewing ear infection?

If so, he is probably just wanting you at this time. My husband and I did not have our children cry and scream at bedtime. We read stories, said our prayers and would stay with the children until they fell asleep. It may not work for everyone, but it sure worked for us and we have 4 children.

I hope you find a solution that will be painless for you all!

Maybe try a little earlier bedtime. If he is overly tired, he will fight going to bed more.

Good luck.

Most likely this is a stage that will pass. It could be teething (teething is worse at night, so that explains why he is OK at nap time). Have you tried involving him in quiet play in his room before his bed? With our 12-month-old, we find that he goes down a lot easier until we let him play with his books on his bookshelf until we start seeing the eye-rubbing, ear-flicking, etc that accompanies sleepiness. Hope this helps!

S.,
I can relate. I think at that age they are really getting to explore the world--walking, talking, etc and they really resist sleep. I agree with the mom who suggested an additional nap and if that is not possible, an earlier bedtime routine and bedtime. Strangely, when kids are really exhausted, it's harder for the to get to sleep. My son is 5 and this is still true!
Have you tried a soft classical music CD on continuous play in his room? Black out shades? White noise? Those may help to calm him.
Try to keep your interaction with him to a minimum when you do the 5 min checks. The first time just say "Time to sleep. Night night." after the first time or two, don't say anything to him, just rub his back, etc. Don't pick him up.
I know this is very upsetting for us as moms but he will get the routine eventually. Hang in there!

At 13 months, he's old enough to know whether or not he wants to go to bed, but not old enough (typically) to express WHY he doesn't want to go to bed. It sounds like you have a bedtime routine & not much has changed on that front.
I remember my mom telling me that my middle sister used to "nurse herself to sleep" as an infant, but when she got to the point where she didn't fall asleep while nursing (not sure how old, just know that she was old enough to stand up) they went through about ua week of her standing at the end of her crib doing nearly exactly what you are describing. My mom said the first night was TERRIBLE! She put her in the crib (screaming ensued) then left & closed the door almost completely. About every 10 minutes later she went to the door to check on her. After over an hour, there was suddenly a loud thump. Apparently, my sister had exhausted herself & could no longer hold herself up & just "crashed" in the crib. Shortly after that she finally fell asleep. Naturally, the loud thump brought Mom to the door. However, she checked on her (& realized she was okay & didn't need to go in.) This last a few days (shorter each night) until she realized & "understood" that bedtime was not going to change & screaming was not going to get her out of the crib.
Thankfully, I've never experienced this with my daughter (15 months). I will say that she often wakes during the night & needs a drink. That is the only reason I ever get her out of her crib (other than to change her diaper, when necessary) before it's time for her to be awake. It's much less confusing if the routine is maintained.
I'll be praying for your family as you adjust to this new challenge.

My only thought is that maybe he should still be having 2 naps and is therefore overtired and resistant at bedtime. It was my impression that most kids need 2 naps until 14-15 months. You can certainly give it a try. If that doesn't work or isn't an option, you might try moving his bedtime earlier for the same reason...

Hi S.

I just wanted to add to the other Mom's input, I agree with it all BTW. I did versions of CIO with both of my kids, my daughter who is 13 months now went through a really rough sleeping spot around 9 months old and I found that she became more and more hysterical when I checked on her, so I had to stop going in. It was hard on me, but easier on her. You may want to think about that with your son. Good Luck.

I recommend Dr Ferber's book on sleep issues. It is fantastic. My son also threw up when we tried to get him to sleep and stay in his bed. This happened when he was 18 months. My other son we "Ferberized" at five months and have not had a problem since. He is almost three now. The book teaches you a routine that is short, simple and works. You will have your problem solved in one week or less. Your bedtime routine should be twenty minutes or so. Two hours is exhausting for all! Good luck to you, I have been there!