13-Year-old Son Spends 4+ Hours on Homework!

Hi C.,,,,
I raised 2 boys and i'm sorry to tell you this but many boy's that age take their Brains out and forgot where they put them until about 25 or so .Sorry to give you this info
Good Luck I Feel 4 you L.

My 13 yr old also spends a lot of time on homework. That last yr of middle school is much more time consuming as far as homework goes. I had the same concern and spoke to her friends' parents...apparently, it is not that uncommon. If the grades are fine, it may just be the amount of homework or the intensity of it. This is a common complaint from what I hear from other moms of middle schoolers.

Is he in any advanced classes? If so, you might want to limit those. Both of my children qualified for them but when my son started struggling we decided put a limit on them. Advanced classes are known for more homework and projects. If this is the case then I would suggest that you only allow him in the advanced classes of subjects where he excels. If this isn't the case then I think you should take the advice of S W, the fourth grade teacher. Either way I would make sure that you stay in communication with his teachers. Hopefully it's just a phase that will pass! God bless!

Hi C.,

This would be my advice as a fourth grade teacher! First, does he have a lot of homework that it may actually take him that long to complete? I wouldn't necessarily jump to the conclusion that he has a learning disability, and I wouldn't mention that in front of him. I would talk to your step son about how he feels about his school work, is there anything that frustrates him about his work or school, and does he feel discouraged with school? Then, I would meet with the teacher. Ask her specific questions regarding his work and his work habits. Also, ask her about his in class participation, behavior, and organization. I definitely wouldn't jump right into going to Sylvan. I have not heard very good things about it. If, in the end, he does need tutoring ask the teacher first. I used to do before school and after school tutoring. If she does not offer tutoring, talk to the guidance counselor at school for recommendations. A one on one tutor is so much better than going to a center for tutoring. If you do end up getting a tutor, talk to them about what they will do. Explain you don't just want them to work on homework with him. You would also like them to work on, for example, organizational skills and study skills.

Does he have poor handwriting? Difficulty reading at a rate that is his age level? Poor reading? you might want to look up Irlen Syndrome and see if he has any of the symptoms. If so ask the school to test for that specifically. Seems like he is dedicated and hardworking if he is staying at it for 4 hours.

Is he upset by how long it takes to do his homework? If so, it may not just be the "I just don't care" bug. If not, then he may just not be putting enough effort into staying on task.

As for reading, how are you assessing his level? If you want to rule out any problems, I would get him tested. You can push for this through your school district for free (be warned that this can take MONTHS) or you can pay for it. I would not go through Sylvan for the testing. If you know there is a problem that has been diagnosed or he just needs tutoring, then Sylvan can be a good resource. However, it is pricey and there are many other options out there.

I am now a SAHM, but worked as a High School counselor & Learning Support until this school year. I have a ton of resources for referrals if you would like. Please let me know. Thanks and good luck.

I hear that it is very common these days. I know I did the same thing as a child. There really is that much work sometimes. I personally don't agree with it one bit. You might be able to talk witht his teachers, but I doubt that you will have much luck.
Another option is to turn homework time into family time.If he has a lot of reading, you could all take turns reading a page and then discussing it at dinner. If it is a project, you can all help with brain storming. I'm not suggesting anyone do it for him, but there are things that can be made into family activities. Getting the whole family involved could make it more fun for him as well as speed things along. My fear is that we burn out kids with this sort of workload. I would rather make it fun and let their love of learning last a little longer.

A friend of mine had a lot of success with Slvan but then I've heard others complain about it.

I know this isn't a possibility for everyone, but have you considered homeschooling? you could even just do it for a week or two to figure out where his problems might be and even ask the school for formal testing.

My mom took us out mid semester when we were having a problem with the school and homeschooled us for the rest of the semester, expecting to enroll us in a different school. But she found that my sister, although she made good grades, hardly knew anything! she could hardly read, couldn't tell time, didn't understand what addition and subtraction were, ect. My mom found that she just really needed one on one attention.

My fourth grade teacher said 4 hours of homework a week is expected. But when homeschooling, we never had school for the entire day for more then 4 hours! So that's pretty ridiculous (and can you imagine how discouraging and frustrating it must be?)

S., homeschooling mom to 4 girls and expecting my first boy!

C.,
I can relate to your problem, my son was also working on homework for hours and falling behind in school. I put him in Sylvan for approximately 9 months. He made little progress because he didn't want to be there and had trouble focusing there just as when he was at home. It cost me approximately $12,000.00 and we got little results. I think your child has to want to learn or it doesn't work. I have been taking him to a couple of doctors, Dr. Townsend, Clinical Psycologist and Dr. Pesikoff, Psycologist. They put him on Vyvance which helps him focus and his grades have jumped to mostly A's and he is no longer working at home on homework because he gets most of it done at school. This drug is used for ADD or ADHD. I tell you I wish I had taken him to these doctors years earlier, it would have made all of our lives easier. Good Luck!

Hi C.,

My son is 11 and in the 6th grade. He also spends ALOT of time every night on homework. Usually, he is in the house working while all the other kids are outside an hour after school let's out. He gets home and eats a snack, then goes off to start on his homework. he is very responsible in knowing that there is no TV watching or video games during the week because school in the priority. However, it takes him hours to complete. He is in advanced classes, however this is the first year for this and his long homework hours has been going on for as long as I can remember. I feel that this has to do partially because of his tendancy to lose focus and partially to do with him being a boy. So, perhaps just meeting with his teachers and speaking to the counselor would help gain more of an understanding on how to help him out more. In the end, we can only help them, they have to be the responsible ones to let us know what is going on and when they need more help from us. My one rule is that I ask him everyday how his day went, how is his work going and if there was anything we had to go over that day that he did not understand. I give him an opportunity everyday to give me a heads up cause without it, I have no idea how things are going.

Good luck!

Hi C.:

I have a sister who sent her son to Sylvan and she said that it wasn't a good fit for him. That's not to say that Sylvan will yield the same results for your son. Now, a few questions. What type of grades does he make? He is in developmental classes, regular classes, or advanced classes? What are his standardized test scores? When you say "The school", to whom are you referring? Have you observed his study habits--how he studies, what type of note-taking skills does he possess, what is he studying? Have you asked him what obstacles he thinks he has and if so, what are they? If he says he has no obstacles then ask him some questions about what he is studying that you may not know (or pretend you don't know). I do apologize for all of these questions, but I need more information concerning what you view as the problem. Additionally, I do not accept parents having to pay for "extra help" when the schools have so many programs of assistance, intervention, follow-up, and feed-back. You can always ask the school for direction. And when you ask, you might try to be firm and persistent (remain friendly). I hope this gives a little insight. Let me know.

I agree with some of the other posters to talk to his teacher about how the other kids are handling their homework. Is this a normal amount of time?

Also, a friend of mine put her son in Sylvan with amazing success!! -and that was just over the summer. She is dyslexic and was concerned that he was too, but couldn't get the school to test him. She didn't want to wait longer so he had more issues. He was about 7 at the time, and now he LOVES to read and excels in all his classes. His ADHD is more under control and his confidence level is so high! It's amazing what can happen when kids are given the tools they need. She's a single mom, so there's no way she could homeschool. She did adjust her work hours so she could spend more time working with him, and that helped too.

I hope this helps. Best of luck to you & your son!

We had issues with reading level as well. Once we got him interested in reading fiction, he has excelled and now is reading on a college level in the 10th grade. When he was that age, he fell in love with the Mary-Kate and Ashley series and would devour them. For him, it was learning about girls that kept his interest. Now, he is reading up a storm and does wonderful on comprehension.

He also does a lot of homework but he is in 4 advance classes with LOTS of projects/out of class work.

Good luck!

If your judging his reading level by having him read aloud, you may be not adding the timiid factor.
I'm in my forties, and still would rather stick my head in the sand than read aloud. I'm fine at public speaking, and have read books like a bookworm. Oh, and I loved homework as a teen.
Just some thoughts.

My 11 yr old son is the same way.one thing that helped him alot was taking him to get an eye exam. We found out he needed glasses. Also he wasnt focusing on his homework.i had to sit him down in front of me and help him with his homework. Very fustrating!!! They told me the same thing about him not having a learning problem butt i still think he does too.his reading level is very low too.with tutoring and help he got better.its very hard when the school system tells you hes fine hes just lazy.yeah thats what they told me. So now i feel like i have to help him or he will fail.i dont know about the sylvian stuff cause i live in a small town,butt i do send him to afterschool tutoring.it helps a little.i hope he does better.

We were spending 2+ hours per night on spelling homework...all for him to make a 60 on the spelling test, and struggled with reading (translated - HATED reading). We had him in tutoring at school, went to summer reading programs and summer school. We have had him tested for everything from ADHD to Dyslexia...none of these were the problems. This went on for 3 years with no success.

We decided to give Sylvan a try. Honestly, we had nothing to loose. I was cringing at the amount it costs, but I was impressed from the get go. We took him in for the diagnostic test and discovered that the problem was that he had missed out on some of the basics from first grade.

He has been in tutoring for about 30 hours so far and it has made a HUGE difference. We are only spending 15 minutes a night on spelling and he is making A's & B's on his spelling tests. He is READING to US and enjoying it! His confidence level at school with his schoolwork has sky-rocketed.

I completely recommend Sylvan. Like with everything, it doesn't work for everyone. (Believe me, I have heard my fair share of "don't send him to Sylvan...it is going to be a waste of money.") You know what is best for your child and will probably know from the get go (the diagnostic testing) if it is going to work or not. The diagnostic testing will give you a ton of information and help you make the decision about the future.

Best of Luck
A.

You don't mention his grades and if they indicate something is wrong. My daughter is 14 and stays up till 1 at least once a week doing homework! She is an excellent student and in honor classes. Is it that your son has LOTS of stuff or is he having difficulties? I also have an 8 year old son that does go to tutoring at his school and have seen a huge improvement in his reading abilities. It is all free. You may want to see what the school has to offer before spending the extra money at Sylvan. I personally haven't dealt with them but have had friends that have and were not completly satisfied with the outcome. Good luck.

I use to go to Sylvan when I was a teenager for math. It helped me get through it!

You may want to ask the school if there is a student or teacher that would be willing to tutor!

We run a learning center in SW Austin called Oxford Learning. Please give my husband, Gordon, a call at ###-###-####. He's had almost 15 years in the supplemental learning business and he can really help you identify what is going on with your son. If you mention that you heard about Oxford on Mamasource, the initial diagnostic assessment is free! Sylvan has some very good programs (we know because Gordon worked with Sylvan for 12 years), but Oxford has a little different approach that we really like better.

You can read some testimonials here:
http://austin.citysearch.com/profile/45065857/austin_tx/o...

I am SO sorry if this seems like a commercial. I work alongside my husband two days a week (we have our kids in a University Model school so we home school W/F and they are in class T/Th when I work) and I've seen so many kids' lives changed that it's hard not to burst into song about it!

Hope this helps!

First, if you think he problem is reading, speak to the teacher about his/her thoughts on his reading level-- My experience with Sylvan is this-- my ex husband brought my twins there to get assessed on their skill level for their age/grade.. They pretty much told him that my kids WILL NOT PASS the 4th grade and they had to come to Sylvan so many hours/week, etc.. the cost was too much for me, so I didn't do it. My kids are in 6th grade now-- they passed 4th grade with A's, B's and a couple of C's...
You definitely need to talk to his teachers to see if they have any concerns, thoughts, etc... There are several times when my 6th grade son has 3-4 hours worth of homework a couple of times a week. It's because each teacher is giving him an assignment for homework, and he just has too much work. Good luck to you!!