11 Year Old Not Liking School

5th grade.
It is a ton of changes, whether or not the child is ready.
This is a cusp, age and grade.
ie: they will be in middle school next year, in school there is WAY more homework, and WAY more expectations about them being independent, WAY more expectations about them being ORGANIZED, and just WAY more expectations. AND they are Tweens, now. 9-12 years old, are Tweens. Therefore, their bodies are changing, hormones are changing, and emotional development is changing too. TONS of things, for this age and grade... to be dealing with.

My daughter is in 5th grade. And she is 10.
And ALL of her classmates, are going through ALL of this too, what I mentioned above.
My girl has SOOOOOOO much homework. Daily. It is crazy. And on top of that, they have ALL of the other things to deal with, which I mentioned above.
Again, even if they are not ready for all this, they are having to do it.

MANY of my daughter's classmates parents, are also saying the things you are saying. Because... the kids are overwhelmed. AND the 5th Grade Teachers are telling the kids regularly, that they have to be READY for 6th grade... because the expectations will be, higher and more.
Talk about pressure.

Your son, is not, unusual.
This is a common malady... of this age and grade.

Personally, I would NOT punish him, unless he is purposely making trouble.
Because, at this age juncture and grade... a kid NEEDS to be able to KNOW... that his parents are there as a shoulder... so that, once they get to middle school... they will not ice you out of their lives.
THIS, is a critical age and grade juncture.
With my daughter... I TELL HER, that I understand... this is a hard year all around. I help her express herself, help her to think of ideas to organize herself, I understand she is under so much pressure and so when she has a little lull in homework... I LET her just hang out and relax. I don't pressure her with MORE stuff or MORE demands at home. I LET her talk to me... to tell me ANY and all things that are bothering her this year. I explain to her, about how she is a TWEEN now and what that is.

The point is: at this age and grade, you need to talk WITH your son, talk with him about lots of things. So that, once he gets to Middle School he will know that you are an "ally" and not an "adversary." Not that you are a buddy... but that you are a parent that is there for him.
Because, once they are in middle school, TONS more pressure, will be upon them.

BUT the thing is: EVEN if you verbally tell your child to be more organized, MANY kids this age, DO NOT KNOW HOW to be more organized. SO, the parent must help them, "learn" how to be more organized. Before, 6th grade. ie: this can mean, getting them a BIG ol' desk calendar and multicolored highlighter pens, SHOW him how to write down his assignments and due dates per class or per subject or per teacher. Get him the tools needed to be more "efficient." ie: highlighter pens, post-it pads, a desk calendar, etc. Kids do not have inherent skills at automatically knowing how... to manage their time either. So, BEFORE he gets to 6th grade, help him and give him tips. So he can practice. THIS is what my daughter's 5th Grade Teacher, ALSO tells the parents. And they don't have classes in school on organization, either. So then kids flounder.
And yes, because 5th grade is MUCH harder and with tons more expectations and tons more homework. So, teach him the skills to manage his time and assignments, better.
BEFORE, he gets to 6th grade.

Have you talked to the teacher? I would start there if not. You can also schedule an appt with the school counselor. I wouldn't punish him; that will just make him further associate negative things with school. How about a physical exam to make sure he really is healthy and feeling o.k.? I would try to work with the school staff and administration to make him feel more invested and engaged in his school experience. Make sure he gets regular exercise too. Good luck. (My 7th grader complains about school all of the time too, but despite his complaints there are things he enjoys and he does pretty well. I think a lot of active boys get bored or restless in school).

Are his grades really bad? I don't understand punishing him and taking things away because he doesn't like school. Maybe he has a bad teacher. Maybe there is something else going on he isn't telling you.

Have you considered another school? Are there any charter schools in your area? Because it's not true that most kids don't like school, as you implied in your second sentence. The right kind of school can make all the difference.

When they start getting into the "upper grades" things get more difficult and they are required to show more responsibility. School is no longer fun; it's work.

I would implement "homework time" which is the same time every day for at least 1 hour where homework is done. If the child says they have no homework, then I MAKE work for them. They must do homework for the entire hour. So, it gets to the point where they might as well do their homework because either way, they are going to be working. Saying they have no homework doesn't get them out of ANYTHING.

Some of the things I do is give them a dictionary. They must pick out a new word of 5 letters or more, write the word, what it means, and use it in a sentence. If they got that done, then they could read for x length of time and then write me a paragraph about what they read. Or write out some times tables. Or I draw a clock and they have to put the time. Whatever as long as it's educational and NOT ON A COMPUTER or other fun device. This is not supposed to be fun. It is supposed to be worse than doing their assigned homework.

Other than that, you have to just tell him you're sorry he doesn't feel well, but if there's no fever and no vomitting, then off to school he goes!

You don't say whether you have ever involved the school counselor. This sounds like exactly the kind of situation where a good counselor, familiar with kids this age and with the classroom setting and the teachers' expectations, could be your greatest help. I would go talk to her or him yourselves first (parents only, no son present) and be sure she schedules you for a good block of time and not just a few minutes. Tell her you are seeking some specific actions and strategies you can use at home to help your son be more interested in at least SOME aspects of school. The fact that he not only doesn't like the academics but (I'm guessing) doesn't like the social part of school enough to want to be there at all -- that may be a red flag. Another possibility: He may be bored and need some kind of different approach to his work from his teachers. He may have an undiscovered learning issue. Or he may just learn differently from other kids (maybe he's a visual learner but the teachers all are verbal teachers, or vice versa--this is not a learning disability issue, but a mismatch in what works for him versus the way things are taught there).

Before you see the counselor, take time to write down your concerns, specific examples, etc.

You can't begin to deal with this until you and the counselor (and eventually the teacher too) all learn more about your son himself -- what he DOES like, what reaches and interests him, what leaves him stumped no matter how hard a teacher tries, etc. This is not a "punishment-and-discipline" process but a process now of figuring him out and finding something positive at school he can make his own. It may not be academics, but does he show any interest in school events? Clubs? Student government? Gym class? Anything? And meanwhile, of course, the academics have to improve some too.

One other note: He's in fifth grade so middle school is not far away. If you can get a handle on this during this year you really need to -- because by middle school he will be far more on his own to cope and be organized. There won't be the level of support systems from teachers and counselors in a middle school that there may be in elementary. So I'd see the counselor today. He or she may even refer you for outside testing or counseling -- again, NOT because of any disability or "problem" but just to figure out what kind of learner your son really is, since it seems teachers haven't nailed that yet. Be open to that kind of idea.

Please look more into the bullying etc. Do not just accept his answer that it is not any of that. Also, you may look into depression. My son has depression but we didn't know it until his off behavior led me to search his room, computer etc. He was bullied a bit and because of his depression, his perception of the instances were intensified. Good luck to you and your family.

6th grade is crazy for the kids. A lot more work have to do alot more on their own. Whole new world have to give them time to adjust. But if he is sick everyday I'd say probably having social issues. Maybe an older student is picking on him. Ask him if he would prefer to go to another middle school. Sometimes a smaller middle school is just the ticket. I always put my kid on alert if you come home sick today you cannot call in sick or be sick for another month you will have to go to school. She learned to save it for when she really wanted to go home. But i think taking the time to try different schools was the best thing i ever did it helped her to find where she fit the best.

I also have an 11 year old boy in 5th grade. He gets in a rut at times and tries to stay home. Last year, my son had to change schools and was having a bit of a rough time and claimed stomach problems and ended up staying home 3 days, on the 4th day I took him to the doctor and nothing was wrong, so I made him go to school. He cried all the way there. I talked to his teacher and to the school nurse and we just chalked it up to getting adjusted. I made sure he understood he had people to talk to if he was having issues. Now what I do is "I'm so sorry, if you aren't feeling well, you need to be off the computer 1/2 hour earlier so you can wind down and go to be 1/2 hour earlier". And I explain to him that being extra tired can make it seem more difficult to go, and maybe he needs more sleep. He has actually agreed with me at times, and gone to bed early. At other times, he miraculously feels better. I don't use it as a weapon for punishment, but as an answer to not feeling well. (natural consequences)

Replace son with daughter and you have described the situation at my house. We had a joint conference with all of my daughter's teachers. It was so reassuring to find that she's completely normal. They said all kids have days when they get a bad grade (i.e. a 33%). They really indicated that 5th grade is a huge jump in work and responsibilities and that all of the kids struggle. We've done no TV during the week which has helped. We've also decided to stop coming to the rescue. If she forgets a book or assignment, she pays the consequences or she needs to figure out what to do. Keep your chin up and this too will pass.

I thought most kids liked school