10 Week Old Not Wanting to Breastfeed

J., the bottle does not take much effoert for your baby to get milk. He sucks once and out it comes. I had a premie and I pumped for the 3 months he was in the hospital. However, when we brought him home I had to suppliment him with a bottle and formula till my milk built back up. After about 3-4 months home he was refusing the breast. I took the bottle away, we breast feed about every 1-1/2 - 2 hrs. It took approximately 1 week and then all he wanted was the breast. As he got older I started giving a sippy cup.

S.

Nursing takes a lot more work to get the milk. So, when he wakes up so hungry, he wants his breakfast and he wants it NOW. He knows he will get it faster and with less effort from the bottle.

That being said, to stop a nursing strike you have to stop the bottle and offer the breast often. Express some milk onto his lips so he tastes it. Keep at it. He will eat when he is hungry.

You can also contact the La Leche League for additional help! They are very supportive.

Bottles make for Lazy babies...well lazy nursing babies :-D

Bottles drip constantly so the baby doesn't really have to work (or WAIT) for food. At the breast they really have to WORK to get milk.

Try waking him up before he is too hungry, don't wait for him to cry in hunger, anticipate when he is hungry...and don't give him anymore bottles.

Nursing is a lot more work than drinking out of a bottle.
It will take work and need patience on your part. Baby can feel your stress level.
Keep nursing him. Offer it often and only give a bottle WHEN NECESSARY...
Putting a small amount of milk on his lips will get the taste there. The rest is just patience. Offer, offer, offer. But I would put the bottles away until this is resolved. Only offer the breast.
They are quick learners and he will adjust back to nursing. Stick with it and keep trying different positions.
It may cause a couple of stressful hours for you. Try to do this over a weekend or time that you can focus on baby for hours on end and hubby can care for big brother.
Good LUCK!!!!

If I were in your shoes I'd probably just do what made things easiest considering you have a 2 1/2 year old too! My guess it that he's probably just super hungry, maybe going through a growth spurt, and your milk might not be letting down quickly enough (my son acted this way during growth spurts sometimes). You could try just doing the expressed milk in bottles for a few days then offer the breast again at a time when you don't think he's really hungry. Alternatively you could have the bottle ready with a couple of ounces then when it runs out offer your breast? Good luck - I'm sure it must be so frustrating!

One of my daughters went though a nursing strike after beening sick. Try skin to skin contact, offer the breast when he is drowsy...you could even wake him and offer before you go to sleep. THose are 2 things that helped me.
Blessings, K.

Everyone has given WONDERFUL advise, but I'd like to add something personal.

GET SOMEONE TO HELP YOU! You need the support to get through this, its emotionally draining on you and you need someone to encourage you in person that you're doing the right thing by not getting him a bottle and it will pass.

My story... My daughter was nearly 6 weeks old and nursing normally - or so I thought - it was often and for 30-45 min about ever 2 hours round the clock. Well at this point she had a full day w/o a wet diaper and when we weighed her she was 10 oz. LESS then her birth weight. She'd regained nearly all of it at 6 days old. She was dehydrated and needed an intervention. Problem was we lived in Eastern Kentucky that is NOT breastfeeding friendly in general. There are those who do, but we're in the minority, therefore there isn't much support. No LLL and our lactation consultant serviced 5 counties so was only in town once a week. Needless to say we were pushed into supplementing with formula and my husband super pressured me into bottles (he FREAKED OUT over this whole situation being a medical student at the time - and I'm usually the strong-willed one) and it took a week to meet with the lactation consultant, I did have phone conversations but it didn't help too much. I was in this horrible cycle of Pumping, feeding that milk, then feeding formula - which she hated and it took hours to get a few ounces down her - and start all over again, plus I didn't have much milk that pumped out. Once we met with the lactation consultant she was having a nursing strike, so she helped me use a tube taped to the breast to get her eating and me supplying more. But it was so complicated and my husband refused to help me. My daughter would just thrash around and scream and refuse to eat, and with her being so underweight I just caved. I did one last try of taking reglan to boost my milk production and it made we have panic attacks after just two days on it, so I gave up.

I've ALWAYS regretted that and wished I'd had someone help me out, I'd needed help from the beginning - it was always terribly painful - and just didn't have anyone to help. My mom was there, and she'd breastfed, but she didn't have any advise for me as she'd had no problems.

Its worth what ever hoops you have to jump through, but get someone to help you, this can be a very hard time!

Best wishes!

I agree with Michelle on expressing milk to baby's lips. It sounds like you are very lucky to have him sleeping the night (I'm still working on it with a four year old! LOL~). It sounds as though he is ravenous, impatient and seeking the instant gratification of the bottle that he knows you have.

If you are engorged (from him sleeping so long, as mine was up in intervals), make sure you are up before he is to wake, and express (to save for later that day or freeze) so your breast is not too hard for him to latch onto as this can frustrate any baby.

For the bottles you give him, are they exclusively breast milk, formula or mixed? (I did not supplement with my son until I went back to work when he was four months (part time) due to the stress I was under, I just could not express as much as I used to, even though I drowned myself in fluids and contacted my support services weekly for other ideas. I did make it almost a full year of nursing. I stopped only due to meds - no choice, had to for health at the time- and we did get through it all.)

If this doesn't help, I am sure other moms currently nursing can help more! If you delivered at a Beaumont Hospital, you can contact Parent Services and ask for the Breast Feeding Consultant and she should be able to help you out (mine was my best friend!)

Remember... when you stress, baby knows it. Stress cuts into your milk production, making it less and this is not what you want right now.

Hi J., patience is the key in this. He has learned that the food comes faster and easier from the bottle, as breastfeeding is a strenuous activity for an infant. When he gets hungry enough, he WILL take the breast, though it will be stressful for both of you. It shouldn't take long for him to figure out the bottle is NOT coming as long as you never give in. You are doing the best thing for him and you by breastfeeding. HOORAY and good for you!! I hope you don't give it up! That 7 1/2-8 hours at night is great for you, but he is getting too hungry and is frantic when he wakes up feeling that way he wants his food as fast and easy as possible. YOU also might just be too full in the morning, after that long stretch of time for him to latch on. You could try getting him up at the 3 or 4 hour mark and just "plug him in" so he isn't so frantic when he wakes in the morning. At 10 weeks, 7-8 hours is a long time for a breastfed baby to go without eating because breastmilk is digested so quickly. If you can stand 3 or 4 nights of frustration, it will be well worth it. I would put the bottles away for now until he gets back on track. If you need to leave him for a few hours, just fill him up good before you leave and time your time away to coincide with his next feeding. Good luck...I would love to hear how it goes!

Hi J.,

I breastfed my three girls and only one gave me that problem. Sorry to say, but I had to start with tough love from the very beginning. Babies are very intelligent and they learn very early that if I cry then I get what I want. I used to make sure that my baby was dry and I'd make sure that she was somewhat calm by rocking and then I'd express a little of my milk on her lips so that she could taste it and then I'd remain calm if she began crying and I'd just hang in there until she realized that the breast was the only option. If you dont have to bottlefeed I wouldn't for a long while. And make sure that your milk flow is good. Don't give in.

Bottles are easier for them. As long as yu give in to the bottle, he will refuse the breast. Be patient, give him your breast, express a little on his lips, find a way to make it easier for him to latch on immediately. And that is fantastic that he is sleeping through the night! Congratulations! It is upsetting when the baby fusses, and that makes you anxious, so it is a circle for both of you. Babies also go through phases, and this could just be one and it requires your patience and persistence to get through it. I also had a very inpatient eater, and it took a lot of work to get her to the breast, because I was sick after delivery and couldnt' breast feed, so they gave her bottles. A lactation consultant can help you find the best way for your child to latch on. For us, it was simply holding her chin down with my finger so she could take the nipple in, and then she dined freely! Good luck, you will find a way to make it work.

Sounds like you were off to a good start, J.. Good for you for deciding to breastfeed! You'll never regret it!

He may be going thru a growth spurt or getting sick. I'm not really understanding why you introduced the bottle since you're home with him, unless you were thinking you'd need to leave him sometimes??

It's great that you still have a good milk supply. One important thing is to be sure his weight isn't suffering as you transition back to complete breastfeeding. Your 1st priority is to be sure he's getting enough milk and growing. Some kids don't do well going from one to the other even if they seem to be OK with it for awhile. I would keep working to get him totally back to the breast for many reasons. Catch him when he's sleepy, perhaps hand-express a bit of milk to soften your breast if it's very full and let him taste it a bit before trying to latch him on (put a few drops on his lips). Try to empty one breast at each nursing so he gets the rich, hind milk and so you won't risk mastitis. Try putting him to the breast more often. If you're engorged, you can put a cabbage leaf in your bra between feedings.

I'd suggest you consider coming to a La Leche League meeting and getting support/advice from other moms. You can go on the website to find a local group www.llli.org. A lot of the groups meet the first week of the month. The Warren group meets next Monday morning, for example, and the Ferndale/Oak Park daytime group meets next Thursday morning. Also, there's a lot of info on the website. Click on Resources, then onto the section that has Answers.

I'm sure you can work this out at this young age, but it may take a little doing and a lot of patience. I sure wouldn't give up! You can also try giving him breastmilk with a cup, a spoon, or a medicine doser as you work to eliminate artificial nipples, and I'd try not to use a pacifier which is so similar to a bottle nipple. Artificial nipples are easier for them to suck on so sometimes they stop wanting to work at getting milk from the breast. I'm sure you can "woo" him back to the breast totally. Hang in there! Obviously you are a very loving mom. You'll make it! Perhaps you can use a bottle occasionally if you need to go out, but it sounds like this isn't the time for it. If you can wait till he's on solids, it will be easier to leave him without these issues. A lot of breastfed babies never use a bottle at all.

this may not be the best advice but if you wake him up after changing his diaper at night and just rest your breast next to his lips he'll sniff you. (ha ha okay seriously) He'll smell the milk and latch on. With him doing that he won't be as hungry in the morning and he'll begin to want you more.

J. ~
It could just be that since he's waiting so long to feed, your breasts are engorged. Try pumping for a minute then feeding....or wrap the breasts in a hot towel for a minute to help them let down so they're not so hard...it might be difficult for him to latch if you're too full.
good luck!
D.