10-Year-old Really Sensitive to Movie Scenes

There's nothing wrong with sticking to movies he likes.
If his friends are picking on him over this then they aren't very good friends.
Plenty of people watch movies at home.

I had similar experiences with one of mine. I actually think it’s okay for a 10 year old to not see stuff like that. I am in my 50’s and watched Silence of the Lambs in my late 20’s and had horrible nightmares for several weeks after. Some people are more sensitive to stuff than others.

I think the best thing you can do is celebrate HIM. Keep telling him it’s fine to not watch stuff that makes him uncomfortable and listen to his inner voice. If he honors it now, when he is older he will be more comfortable listening when the choices are harder (alcohol, smoking, vaping, etc.)

As far as the movie trailers I told my kids when they were younger to look down and cover their ears if they didn’t want to see something. Sometimes, if I knew the subject matter was bothersome, I’d let them know ahead by signaling them. If he’s with friends he could always take a quick bathroom break while promos are running.

I still will not watch a horror movie. Period. My kids think I’m silly, but I don’t care. The eye is a powerful piece of the body. You can’t unsee stuff. I don’t find pleasure in things that are gruesome or psychotic. I worked for the police for awhile and I know to well what people are capable of.

Are his "friends" making fun of him for not watching the movies? If so, they aren't his friends.

He can tell his friends that he doesn't like blood, gore and death.

He shouldn't be upset with himself for not liking blood, death and gore. That's a GOOD THING!! It means he cares and has feelings - even if he knows it's fake. I would tell him to stand his ground and say "thanks but no thanks - that's not my kind of movie".

If he has anxiety? He should be treated for it. Talking with a counselor or therapist to help him get through his anxiety is a good thing. Talking with you about it is good too - do NOT discourage him from talking with you about things - but a therapist might be able to help him compartmentalize things and deal with his anxiety instead of running away.

Don’t push him on it. That’s how you handle it. The big screen is SO much sensory overload! As an adult, I had to leave a Transformer movie because it was just too much! My own husband, who can watch anything, ended up closing his eyes for the duration of a Superman movie at an IMAX theatre. It was making him sick to his stomach.

Your son doesn’t need to do grown up things as a 10 year old. Just because his friends or family want to see a movie doesn’t mean he should have to go. Rent movies HE wants to see and watch them at home. Take this stress off of him and let him enjoy his summer. Books are so much more important. The library is a safe place, away from so much stimuli.

Let him stick to what he's comfortable with. There's zillions of movies out there, and not everyone likes every genre. My stepdaughter is 27 and still will not watch horror movies.

Youth is fleeting. He will be exposed to plenty of guts and gore throughout his life. Ten is still very young. What's the big hurry to have him watch more mature content? Help your son remain innocent for a while longer, especially if he's more comfortable doing so.

He should not be watching things that terrify him, and you need to help him stand strong in the face of peer pressure. "Nope, I don't want to watch that." He doesn't need to justify himself to his friends or explain it, or feel bad about his choices. He will develop more internal strength by being comfortable with his own feelings that by learning to endure violence.

How about you could tell your son that if you don’t want to watch then don’t watch it. He could watch other movies like kid ones or stuff like that.
Yara

My son was like this and he slowly outgrew it. He is 15 now but he absolutely will not watch any horror movie (that his friends all have seen and talk about). This is fine by me! He was very sensitive when he was younger and could not handle seeing almost ANY movie until he was about age 9. He would not even watch a Disney movie like the Lion King! At age 9 he started toughening up a little and was able to watch some PG movies in the theater for the first time. After that he slowly got better at seeing movies...maybe age 13 he started watching the superhero and marvel and Harry Potter. His sister was the opposite...she is almost 6 years younger than him and saw her first Star Wars movie at age 3. She just enjoys movies and knows it's all actors/pretend. She is 9 and has seen all the Marvel movies, Star Wars movies and Harry Potter movies and is a big fan. Anyway, there is nothing wrong with your son and how do you get him to believe this himself? That is the question. The only difference really between our sons is my son was always very confident in his choices and it never bothered him if his friends had seen something he had not. I don't know where he gets his confidence from though. My advice is let him do things at his own pace and don't push it. There is nothing wrong with being sensitive and not wanting to see certain movies. Although it sounds like he really really wants to watch these movies himself. PS - Does he ever read the books to any movies before he tries to watch them? Maybe in a year or two this might help. Enders Game the book is very very good but also HARSH. Much harsher than the movie. I don't recommend he read it yet. My son read it when he was almost 13 and so did I. We saw the movie about a year after we read the book and I think that helped him a lot with watching the movie. He knew what was going to happen.

My son at 10 couldn't watch the Princess Bride because Wesley kills the big rats and got his life sucked away.

Now at 14 he and I go on opening night to every horror film that comes out and watch every action adventure flick known to man....he LOVED Die Hard and The Hit-man's Bodyguard. He loves the old Friday the 13th series and Halloween as well...and the new ones.

14 seemed a magic age where he wanted to see some movies that he didn't like the sound of before and now he can watch anything pretty much that sounds good to him.

From 10-13 he avoided movie birthday parties and we let him...he grew and his ability to handle movies grew with him. Hugs!!

One of mine wouldn't sleep if he watched scary movies. I remember his grandma getting him to watch a Harry Potter movie (one of later ones) when he was quite young. What a disaster.

To this day, he monitors it - he's a teen. He pushes himself gently .. it's funny. So give your kid a few years. It will be ok. My son would check what movies kids were watching at a sleepover, and decide for himself if he'd go. It was fine. He'd just say something else - like he couldn't go - he didn't tell his friends that he was scared. Over time, as he got older, he could handle more, and some of it is their bodies/brains can't handle scenes like that (there is a reason for those guidelines). They do grow up and can handle a bit more over time. It won't always be so bad.

Anxiety is our bodies way of protecting us and as our counselor told us it's a good thing. It's what says DANGER! and gets you to run from dangerous things. She told our child (around your son's age) that it's only troublesome when there is no real danger, and you're left dealing with your body feeling in fight or flight (?) mode. Not sure if I have that right. Then you have to tell yourself there's no real danger, figure out what works for you (for some people, that's going over it ahead of time, for some techniques to loosen up body/breathing, for some going over worst case scenario and realizing, hey .. I've got this..) but yes, you don't avoid things entirely - forever. Because that means you become more scared - IF it's something desirable, that you would like to do. Like doing something you want to do, but are just afraid to do (but there's no need to fear it).

However - scary movies? Well, since there's a rating, and he's not up to it - I say let him watch when he wants to at home, and my kid would stand in doorway, have me watch for him (I'd come in when music ramped up) and then he'd get me to tell him what was happening, and over time, he'd come in and stand there with me, and then .. he replaced me standing there.

I don't love scary movies and scream in theaters. I mean, some people react strongly. I do. It's ok. And boys can be scared too - my nephew was scared of scary movies also. So let him know he's not alone :)

Your son is probably an empath and is sensitive to movies because of his heighten emotional sensitivity and empathy. Protect his innocence, keep it PG or what he likes.

Many PG13 movies are very intense and almost qualify to be rated R.

I don’t watch scary or violent movies.

Protect your child’s innocence.

if it's only movies (ie visual stimuli) that creates this, i'd help him make sensible decisions about what to watch and leave it alone. he's still young and will almost certainly grow out of it.

if he's super sensitive to any media that have violence (books, games, etc) then he might need a little help, perhaps a gentle de-sensitizing therapy.

what i would not do would be to join in him in the anxiety dance, which it's possible you're doing. it sounds as if seeing movies on the big screen just might have to wait until he's a little older, or at least don't take him in until the previews have run.

so if this purely situational i'd help him navigate around the situation for the time being. if it's an overaching state of anxiety i'd find a sympathetic child therapist.

khairete
S.

My 10-year-old is really sensitive about movies but he has ZERO problems standing his ground and saying what he does and does not want to watch, regardless of what his friends or even what his parents think (I desperately want to watch all of the Star Wars and Harry Potter movies with him, but he just isn't ready. We have read some of the books together and he even gets tense when the books are suspenseful).

He hates watching movies in the theater unless we go to the sensory-friendly viewings where they keep the lights brighter and lower the sound. It's also perfectly fine to walk around and make noise during those showings so he feels comfortable grabbing my arm and asking what I think is coming next in the movie. He also wants to watch every trailer he can find and reads the spoilers so he knows exactly what's going to happen in the movie. And he's a totally neurotypical kid without any diagnosed sensory issues. He's just really in tune to the experience and sensitive to music and language. He can hear the music change in a commercial or tv show and understands what the advertiser or producer wants you to, "feel" at that moment. He can't handle the typical Disney movie where there's a bad guy with creepy music and peril before the hero saves the day. Seriously, he can't watch any of them. He does better with Pixar but to this day can't watch the Cars Fire and Rescue movie. We had to watch the Cars 2 movie on our own and he finally joined after watching from the other side of the room and decided it was OK. He walked out of the theater after 10-15 minutes when he went with his friend and her mom to see the latest Ice Age (I warned her this might happen). We haven't moved past animated/kids movies. He talks like he knows Bumblebee and the Avengers because his friends tell him all about it but he doesn't want to watch any of it. And that's OK. We did watch the Spiderverse and somehow he was OK with that, so who knows. We let him lead the way.

Anyway, as others have commented and I'm saying here, it's totally fine for your kid to watch whatever he is comfortable with for whatever reasons. But you do need to address why he is starting to feel bad about his choices. Are you projecting your family anxiety issues onto him or is he really having trouble managing his feelings? If he's honestly anxious and exhibiting those traits, get him into therapy to learn some coping skills. He will need to learn how to manage much more difficult stuff as he gets older and if you're unable to help him find coping mechanisms that work, find someone else who can help him.

I can't imagine why it's so hard to find entertainment that doesn't upset a child. No, he's not the only 10 year old who can't handle PG-13 - It's PG-13 for a reason! Stop! Let him be 10! Taking him to movies that are too old for him is SELFISH of you!